How to Rekindle Desire in a Relationship

How to Rekindle Desire in a Relationship

Last update: 14 October, 2018

As the years pass on by, desire usually fades away. Routine, lack of time, habits, and daily problems are some of the factors that may influence the fading of desire. In fact, it happens more than we think. Fortunately, there are many ways to rekindle desire in a relationship.

Some studies show that the level of desire fluctuates over time and is inevitable in a sexual relationship. However, it’s possible to rekindle desire if both partners try really hard. In this article, we share some tips to help rekindle desire in a relationship.

1. Rekindle desire by showing affection more often

Kisses and caresses are important to rekindling desire in a relationship. For example, just being there and showing affection may strengthen the feeling of attachment.

A couple shows affection by kissing each other.

At the start of a relationship, the couple usually enjoys passionate kisses, caresses, and all kinds of affection. However, eventually, the feeling dies down and also becomes less intense. This is why doing showing affection this way again is very important for the emotional and sexual well-being of the couple.

Hugs, kisses, and caresses are ways to express attraction and desire in courtship. Flirting may rekindle desire in a relationship.

2. Set a date

In the first few months of the relationship, you may have planned charming and romantic dates. These dates were perfect moments that helped you both disconnect from other things. They were also perfect opportunities to focus your attention on your relationship.

However, over the years, there are growing responsibilities like having children. This makes it a bit difficult to break away from routine to make special plans, like enjoying a romantic and fun night with your partner.

Nevertheless, although it’s difficult to find the time to be together, it’s important to go out together often to preserve your relationship. It doesn’t matter what you do. The important thing is to show how important you are to each other.

“You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.”

-Gibran Kahlil Gibran-

3. Care for your physical and emotional health

If you’re not feeling physically and emotionally well, your sexual drive may also be affected. Therefore, it’s important to take care of your appearance and health. This way, you’ll be able to enjoy intimate moments better.

To feel good about yourself, you have to eat healthy foods, do sports, have a good self-esteem, and enjoy emotional stability.

Likewise, knowing yourself and taking care of yourself are keys to keeping the flame of love and passion alive. The physical attraction with your partner will help keep desire alive in a relationship. Studies show that a good physical appearance increases physical attraction. Also, improving your physical well-being may also have a positive impact on your emotional health.

4. Surprise your partner

Everybody likes to be surprised. However, when you’re in a long-term relationship, you easily forget the little details that your partner likes so much or were more frequent at the beginning of your relationship.

There are hundreds of ways to surprise your partner. However, it’s not necessary to give big or special gifts. All you have to do is  show your love in unexpected ways. What matters are the little things that show how much you care.

A girl surprises her boyfriend by covering his eyes.

5. Go to a sex therapist

Recent statistics show that more than 50% of women and 20% of men admit not being happy with their sex life. In fact, many agree that they need to improve their relationship, but don’t know how. In these cases, you may need to seek advice from a relationship expert.

Like any therapist, they’ll give you strategies to help you rekindle desire in your relationship.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.