Your Heart Decides When It's Ready to Love
Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think there’s only one person that’s truly meant for you?
If you hold these beliefs, they reinforce a a simple and common truth: the point in your life when you find a person is very important in determining whether that person is meant for you or not.
“We learn to love, not when we find the right person, but when we start seeing an imperfect person as perfect.”
Sam Keen
I won’t kill the magic of the idea that destiny is what brings you and your partner together. But one thing is clear: your heart is the one who tells your head when it’s ready to fall in love.
When this message spreads to every part of your body, someone will come into your life like a ray of sunshine. They will become the person you decide to love and care for.
Do you want to hear my story? When I moved to another country to resume my studies and continue “learning to live,” my situation wasn’t that great. I didn’t feel like myself, and most importantly, I still hadn’t learned to love myself. My life wasn’t ideal, I wasn’t entirely at ease and neither was my heart.
But I met my current best friend. And he fell in love with me. The feeling that this was happening to me with one of the best people I had ever met didn’t make me feel any better.
Do you know why? Not knowing how to love myself didn’t allow me to truly love such a special and incredible person. His heart was in it, and it was prepared. But mine wasn’t yet, although I was trying to by all means and was dying to be ready.
Through all of this I felt powerless. Powerless knowing that I couldn’t love fully, because I still can’t love myself, my heart, my whole being. And it hurt to lose him because of it.
Maybe at another point in my life, perhaps a short time from now, things will be different. The only thing I can do for now is feel his love within me and slowly ignite my heart.
This experience has taught be that love can only be felt when both people are willing and excited to share it.
Am I ready to love?
For all of those reasons, it’s important to be able to recognize whether you’re in a point in your life where it’s right to offer and accept love.
Sometimes we choose to love when we feel vulnerable and scared. We choose someone because we need them to fill in for something that we don’t have. Many times this can be the worst poison for a relationship.We do everything in our power to make sure the relationship works so we can feel good. But it’s something that isn’t meant to work, yet.
If you’re not emotionally stable, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the wrong time to find love, it could be the right moment. What’s important is that we really believe that our hearts are ready and that we have found a person that is also ready.
In my case, I did and am still trying to do everything I can so I can begin to love my best friend. And sometimes the emotions I feel are frustrating. I have decided to love this unique person that loves me in such an authentic and extraordinary way, which makes it my decision and makes me feel free. Free to start loving.
What if the timing isn’t right?
I won’t deny that many times I’ve thought: if it’s not happening, it’s because maybe it’s not the right time. Surely you’ve thought the same thing countless times in your life about your relationships. But the situation, the timing, and the moment aren’t the only things you need to make love work. Timing isn’t everything. It’s just part of everything.
Once I was told that it doesn’t matter how compatible two people are. If you’re not in a good place at the time or the other person’s life isn’t the best, you can’t love completely. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try it with someone if the timing isn’t right. It’s just that trying more than you can handle could cause a lot of pain for both of you.
Simply let yourself go, enjoy the moment, and most importantly, learn to love yourself and your heart. Don’t think that you’re capable of changing what another person needs or wants.
Learn to be honest with that other person and with yourself. The important thing is to let yourself be involved with someone who is capable of loving you truly and completely.
The situation and timing are why we feel wonderfully lucky when we’re in extraordinary and fulfilling relationships. Timing is what makes you feel such incredible gratitude for having found the right person when you did.
