It’s Hard to Say Hello When You Want to Scream I Love You

November 22, 2016

There was a study conducted by Robert Grimes in the UK. It says that if the theory that man never landed on the moon was true, it would’ve already come to light. If only simply due to the amount of people involved. But when it comes to our heart and saying I love you, things are different. There are not so many people involved. There is a deep and intimate feeling for someone, which we don’t show or manifest. Perhaps out of fear.

Perhaps a relationship has ended, and we still love that person. Perhaps we see a person again after a long time, and we realize that we still feel something. Or maybe a deeper feeling has emerged from within us for a longtime friend.

These are situations in which we say hello when we really want to scream I love you. We want to hug, kiss, smile, spend time with that person. We want to simply enjoy looking at them, and we don’t dare do it for many reasons.

The inability to show what we feel

Sometimes, we can’t say I love you out of fear or because we feel blocked. Maybe our past relationships have affected us, and they have built up an outer shell around us. There are even more extreme cases in which people are affected by a disorder called alexithymia.

girl-worried

Alexithymia is a neurological disorder which prevents the people who suffer it from identifying and expressing their emotions verbally. There are different degrees of this disorder. The first is produced because the neurological structures that are linked to emotions are harmed. The second is produced as a consequence of an emotional trauma or by an emotional development disorder.

People who suffer from alexithymia are incapable of saying “I love you” or “sorry”. They feel a deep contempt towards themselves. Because they are aware of their inability to express their own feelings towards other people. And this makes them feel useless.

The importance of showing our emotions

Society has come to despise the expression of feelings and emotions. Yet, not expressing them can have negative consequences. For this reason, it is important to learn to express what we feel in all areas of our lives.

Many people have been taught from a young age to not show their emotions. To not cry in public because it is a sign of weakness. To avoid problems by seeming submissive in conflicts. That is to say, they have been taught to withdraw into themselves .

woman-in-a-bird-cage

But we must not forget that retained and unmanifested feelings can have several negative effects on our body and brain. These include stress, anxiety, headaches, ulcers, asthma… A feeling that is not expressed is a bomb that has to explode in some way. And if we do not express it, ultimately it can affect our lives.

Five ways to say I love you

“Te amo”, “I love you”, “Je t’aime”, “Ich liebe ditch” or “T’estim”. Love is a universal feeling. We all at some point feel the need to say those words. But, there is a language in which there is no possible way to externalize it in a semantic way. In Vietnamese, it isn’t possible to say “I love you”. And not because the Vietnamese do not have feelings, but rather because they can not find the words.

However, there are many ways to say “I love you”, because it is not just about words. It is about showing that you love someone, that with every act your love becomes apparent to someone else. So we offer you today five ways to say “I love you” without uttering a single word:

1. Make them fall in love with you every day

No matter how much time has passed, there always has to be a spark between two people. Something that will remind the other that we really love them. Make them a cup of coffee and serve it to them in bed. Leave them a lovely note, so that they’ll see it when they wake up. It is not about grand gestures, or expensive gifts, but instead about expressing what you feel.