When We Give Everything But It’s Not Enough

· March 5, 2016

We live in a world in which, sometimes, customs and traditions weigh on us like requirements. At some point in our lives, most of us have felt that something we once did because we wanted to has changed and become an imposition.

Generally, we are obligated, both by others and by ourselves, to do certain things. In other words, in some way it is simply understood that others expect something from us, and we should respond by doing it.

In any case, the hard truth is that sometimes when we give all that we can, it ends up meaning nothing. Alternatively, there are people who do very little, and when they do something, it is valued more than anything we have done, even if our effort was greater or our act more significant.

girl with umbrella in rain give

The importance of acknowledging worth 

Each person is valued freely at a high or low price, and no one alone is worth anything, but rather that what gives them worth is valued. Therefore, value yourself as free or as a slave; it all depends on you. 

-Epictetus-

There are people to whom we give our all, but it is never enough. Be that as it may, when we stop giving them that they think they need, or they at least perceive that we have stopped, we are accused of being selfish and they insist that we don’t care about them.


This kind of attitude is not always founded in selfishness, but it can also arise out of confusion or lack of ability and dedication to be able to reciprocate.

We have to keep in mind that to give everything can create an obligation for the other person. They may feel like they could never return it. This sometimes can make people feel mad, like they have to get away, or that they don’t know how to act.

So, what happens happens. The important thing to remember is to always behave with courtesy and moderation and not give too much of ourselves to others. We ourselves decide our own worth. In that sense, we must always be especially cautious in moments in which we offer ourselves to others.

girl and owl in moon boat give

How do we give ourselves value 

Break away from those who doubt you, and unite with those who value you; free yourself from those who hinder you, and love those who support you. 

-Paulo Coelho- 

If we want to be free, we have to break away from those people and things that suppress us. In other words, we cannot keep doing things just because something or someone else wants us to.

In the first place, we have to put aside that which tells us that sacrifice makes us better and more legitimate people. To behave in that way makes us neglect and undervalue an important physical and emotional part of ourselves that is very important to our happiness.

On the other hand, we need to be clear that when something or someone harms us intentionally and demands something from us, that it is not worth it to comply nor to even offer ourselves and our dedication. We have to stop “tolerating” this kind of treatment and just say good-bye to it. Doing this will make us stronger.

It is natural that once we have identified and analyzed this problem, we may feel bothered or hurt. If this happens, we should focus on being constructive and not on taking our negative feelings out on others, and especially not on ourselves.

happy faces give hugs Everyone has the right to be respected and valued 

To break away from those who demand too much of youstart with little things. Gradually, you can communicate your needs without feeling guilty for stopping dealing with and attending to the needs of others. You don’t have to be aggressive, just persistent and assertive.

Most importantly, speak in the first person and start a confrontational dialogue with phrases such as, “There are certain situations that don’t make me feel respected…”, instead of saying outright “you don’t appreciate me.”

We must first appreciate and respect ourselves in order for others to do so as well. This will help us to reject requests that take advantage of us and that don’t contribute to anything positive. We must sort out our ideas in regards to what makes us feel good and what doesn’t.

Always keep in mind that the right to feel respected is yours; nobody can steal from you your ability to feel valued, and to feel the recognition you deserve.