To Get the Best of Others, You Have to Give the Best of Yourself

· June 27, 2017

At some point in your life, you’ve probably felt frustrated because you saw that someone with great human potential wasn’t giving the best of him or herself. Similarly, a disappointment like this may have led you to wonder whether or not giving the best of yourself is really enough to get the best from others.

The truth is that when we talk about interpersonal relationships – no matter what kind they may be – everything positive adds up. In some cases, we may not be able to force the relationship to be as good as we may like since relationships are a two-way street, but we’ll get close.

Remember that the important thing is that the other person treats us as well as s/he can, even if the person may not always be able to provide as much as we would like. In this case, patience is your friend. Remember that relationships also need to develop and grow to be able to truly shine.

You deserve as much as others

In our relationships with others, it’s better not to demand immediate fulfillment of our desires. After all, this may have the reverse effect. Remember that it’s not a healthy relationship if both partners lack freedom. Instead, giving the best of yourself with flexibility and patience is the best way to invite others to do the same for you.

couple in love

And isn’t it true that we feel loved when both of us make an effort, no matter what the relationship? In fact, keeping this reciprocity in mind is beneficial for us: much like you give your best, you’re also able to recognize the same behavior in others.

“And if love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never stops insisting on more or less.”
-Emma Goldman-

Giving the best of yourself is a symptom of confidence

Stephen Covey once said: “If you want to build trust, you must be trustworthy.” Similarly, if you want others to open up to you, you have to open up to others first. Don’t be afraid to do so, since knowing your fears and your virtues will make others trust you and reveal their own. Plus, it’s very gratifying when someone considers us worthy of their trust.


In fact, being able to give the best of yourself means having enough confidence to know that your fears, flaws or inner darkness aren’t significant enough to eclipse all of the good you have to offer. Don’t be afraid. Getting to know and value yourself will give those around you the opportunity to see every single one of your strengths.

“Trust is a two-way street,” he said sternly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you can’t demand trust when it’s not given.”

-Dorores Rodondo, The Legacy of the Bones-

Everyone will appreciate that you trust in yourself. Therefore, they’ll enjoy your company. A kind of closed circle will form and the bonds you have created will strengthen.

Offer without interests, receive with gratitude

We all know the saying “You reap what you sow.” Have you ever felt this way?

We may not see results in the short term, but giving the best of ourselves will be the source of long-term happiness.

There are many reasons for this:

  • First of all, it feels amazing to give.
  • Second of all, our relationships will be stronger.
  • Finally, because others will give to us honestly and without us asking.

We’ve probably experienced this feeling with others and they with us. If we continually demand and don’t recognize what they do for us, they won’t want to give everything. However, others tend to give the best of themselves when they see that we’re doing the same.

“Give what you have so that you deserve to receive what you lack.”
-Saint Augustine-

Discovering what’s inside our loved ones is as beautiful as realizing what’s inside of us. Reciprocity is the key for two people to maintain strong, healthy bonds. And, as Neruda once said, it ends up becoming what saves us from life: love.