Five Traits of People Who Know How to Love Their Partner

March 28, 2020
People who know how to love their partner are able to trust, share, dialogue with, respect, and be patient with the person they love. After all, love is learned and requires will and hard work.

Erich Fromm was one of the first people to state that individuals could learn to love. Contrary to the common belief, feeling love isn’t enough. In fact,  it requires a sort of “literacy”. Hence, there are people who know how to love their partner and others who, despite the fact that they feel a lot of love, just don’t know how to do it properly.

Loving isn’t a game. People who know how to love their partner always find a way to build stronger and more lasting relationships. Some may feel a lot, even with great intensity. However, that doesn’t mean the relationship will work out for them. They forget that feelings aren’t enough.

People who know how to love their partner are aware of what this feeling implies. As a consequence, they don’t just let it flow. Instead, they enrich it with attitudes and values. Here are the traits that characterize them.

1. They trust their partner

Believe it or not, some people don’t really grasp what trust actually means. It isn’t about blindly believing in another person but about expecting the best from them. People who know how to love their partner put all their trust in their relationship. They believe they’ll always be able to bring out the best version of their partner.

In addition, confidence is key in this regard. Being able to show yourself as you really are, without shame or restraint. In no way, shape, or form should an individual hide their true self from their partner. Instead, their partner should accept them and not question who they are or what they think or say.

A man and a woman hugging.

2. Respect is fundamental

Love exists where there’s respect. Respect is the ability to accept others as they are. There’s no point in being with someone who wants to change every detail about you. People who know how to love their partner appreciate them the way they are.

When there’s respect, each person’s autonomy is protected. Every partner is unique, and their traits must be respected. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean being the same person. Lastly, respect is all about considering the other person’s feelings, emotions, and desires.

3. They make time for their partner

People who know how to love their partner are willing to make time for their relationship no matter how busy they are. In other words, they include their partner in their plans, activities, or free time. In addition, they consider their feelings at all times.

That being said, it’s essential to insist on the importance of spending quality time with one another. This isn’t about being together 24/7 doing nothing, it’s about doing things that make both partners happy. In reality, it doesn’t really matter if children, a demanding job, or harsh commitments are involved. When you truly love someone, you’re always willing to make time for them.

4. Communication is key for them

People who know how to love their partner understand that good communication is essential to ensure a healthy relationship. After all, love fundamentally consists of dialogue. Now, we’re not talking about chattering endlessly. Instead, you should genuinely express what you think, feel, dream, and want.

Dialogue leads to greater knowledge and understanding because it supposes the ability to communicate and listen. When you’re in a relationship, it’s essential to connect with your partner’s feelings and needs.

A happy couple holding hands representing people who know how to love their partner.

5. They’re patient with each other

No matter how much you love someone, you’ll undoubtedly dislike some things about them. After all, no one’s perfect. That being said, no one’s exempt from being intolerant. Actually, we all have those days where we feel insecure or irritable for whatever reason.

It’s precisely in these moments, more than in any other, when a person needs their partner to be patient. Think about it for a second. No one gets mad because they want to; no one wants to feel bad about something or themselves. In the end, they simply need some time to process an experience or situation that’s overwhelming them at the moment.

People who know how to love their partner understand that, in order to build a healthy relationship, they must work hard. Love isn’t just a matter of butterflies in your stomach or romantic illusions. As a matter of fact, it requires dedication, will, and good judgment.

  • Ferro Sardi, N. (2007). Saber, amar, instruir: ingredientes y fórmulas en Laura Esquivel. Espéculo, (37), Not-availabe.