Female anorgasmia is a problem that affects many women, causing great psychological and emotional discomfort. In the past, people’s sexual lives were not talked about. In fact, it mattered little whether women enjoyed sex or not. Their role was seen as merely reproductive or as an object of male desire, without the right to enjoy it.
Fortunately, we are increasingly aware of the importance of this facet of our existence and how it influences our physical and mental health. The role of women has become relevant and their sexuality is beginning to acquire a much broader meaning. Even so, there is still a lot of to work on. So, it is important not to mark the problem as solved and keep taking steps forward.
“Nothing frightens the normative discourse of sex more than feminine desire, and nothing is understood less than female sexuality.”
– Valerie Tasso-
What is female anorgasmia and why does it occur?
Female anorgasmia or inhibited female orgasm is the persistent or recurrent absence or delay of orgasm after a normal phase of sexual arousal. That is, the woman feels sexual desire, but cannot reach the intense peak of pleasure that is achieved with orgasm.
Why does this happen? The reality is that there can be multiple causes. On one hand, the sexual education that the person has received has a significant influence. There is a misconception that a woman must always reach orgasm through penetration, but the reality is that, more often than not, it is achieved through manual or oral clitoral stimulation.
Therefore, poor or no stimulation of this area can be one of the causes of this problem. It can also be caused by being overly self-conscious or excessive self-observation during sex, together with a series of negative obsessive thoughts about one’s performance.
“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got, and 50% what other people think you’ve got!”
– Sophia Loren-
In addition, the lack of discussion about female masturbation and the belief that women should not have sexual fantasies also contribute to the problem. Finally, we must bear in mind that certain drugs can contribute to having difficulties reaching orgasm.
What is the treatment for female anorgasmia?
As you can see, many of the causes of female anorgasmia are of psychological origin. For this reason, it is important to carry out treatment with an appropriate psychologist. To be effective, it must have one fundamental pillar: psycho-education and sex education.
It is important that women understand the nature of what happens to them and their sexuality. On the other hand, it is vital that they understand certain myths about female sexuality are untrue and irrational.
Apart from working with knowledge and ideas about sex, you have to do practical work. This should be personalized for each woman, but should include sensory focusing exercises and stimulation.
First, she must be the one to explore her own body gradually until she achieves orgasm. Then, she can teach her partner the kind of stimulation she needs to feel that characteristic pleasure.
For the latter, it is also important to include training in social skills and assertive techniques. Improving communication within the couple and relational skills is a fundamental step to achieve successful treatment. As we have seen, female anorgasmia is a problem that can be overcome. . .Let’s work on it!
“Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic selves. We must learn to respect them. We must learn to listen.”
-Sarah Ban Breathnach-
Images courtesy of Imani Clovis, Marvin Meyer, and Vlad Deep