If You Feel Lonely When You Are Alone, You're in Bad Company
Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit lonely, even when I’m surrounded by people who anyone would like to have near. I feel alone, and I can’t seem to understand why exactly. Yet, when I’m in my room and no one is around to drown out my own noise, that’s when I feel the most lonely.
I know that means that I am not in the best of company. I feel lonely when I am alone, and it is terrible. I don’t want to listen to what I have to say. Also, I have this feeling of being the saddest person in the world. Furthermore, the panic I feel when I find myself in total silence is so profound that I avoid it constantly. Engulfed in this panic, I feel unprotected and vulnerable.
Many people have experienced this and you might simply be going through one of these moments. It is normal and you have nothing to be ashamed of. It is easy to feel overcome by emptiness, by a void. And we are all afraid of the possibility of it occurring in our lives.
Solitude is not always bad
Oftentimes, when you see the shadow of solitude appear, you find yourself disguising it to not fall into its abyss. Or you isolate yourself in your melancholy. In that state in which you can only receive pain. In which you forget, to some small or large degree, who you really are.
The first and indispensable step is to fight that terrifying discomfort, which keeps you from enjoying what you have. You must face it and accept it. Yes, you must always put a name or a label on what’s happening to you. That way you can assign it to a certain place and act upon it when it serves as an obstacle instead of a benefit.
“Feeling lonely is not the same thing as being alone:
being alone can be an enjoyable experience,
one you might need in order to gather strength or to do something creative…
But feeling lonely and isolated is harmful for people;
you become less creative, less intelligent, and your health suffers.”
-Elsa Punset-
Solitude doesn’t have to be bad. Convincing yourself of this is the next step. It’s about acknowledging that the defenselessness you feel is simply a mirage emanating from a weak-willed heart. That is to say, being alone can be a great opportunity: take a walk, travel, read, meditate… It might be the bravest way to discover and start loving yourself. You can’t expect others to support and take care of you if you can’t do the same for yourself.
In solitude, you discover that you aren’t truly alone
Solitude can be the most longed for hug, and it is within everyone’s grasp. Instances of silence might produce fear, but they can also purify, calm and comfort. The type of solitude which gives off happiness is that which finds and welcomes you in, so that you may become your own best company.
You’re never alone if you don’t let yourself be. People are born to interact with others. Therefore, to share their lives with people who are emotionally close to them. However, isn’t it true that the closest person to you is yourself? Why would I want to reject that?
There is a certainty in all of this. And that is that when you are born, you’re already a beating heart, which can’t deny that it is accompanied by itself. Why not make it even more simple? Why not take advantage of the moment and let it enjoy life? The best way to tolerate solitude is to embrace it in order to strengthen the bond that ties us to our essence.
In this case, maybe your dependence is collaborating with the solitude to make you feel that way. Maybe it’s good that you seek out freedom, space, hobbies, etc., in which you feel complete without the need to share that moment with anyone else.
