A Father Never Stops Being a Father
A father’s role has been changing over the years, and nowadays it does not seem to be well defined. It used to be more clear in the past. They were the economic providers of the home, and the ones who had the last word. Fathers were the voice of authority, but they weren’t as involved in raising their children and much less the domestic chores. Everything seemed to be in order this way.
The last few decades have radically transformed the male figure and, of course, the father figure as well. However, there is a point in which, both then and now, fathers feel deeply involved in the success of their children.
“Govern your house, and you will learn the cost of wood and rice. Raise your children and you will learn how much you owe your parents”
-Eastern proverb-
This can be appreciated with clarity in the bleachers of any child tournament on the weekends. They are always there, behind the scenes, managing their kid’s activity so they can become the best. Fathers get involved in this so much that they focus all the childcare towards these goals, even giving affection based on it. These are parents who project their fantasies of success onto their children. To a certain extent, they stop being fathers in order to become the personal trainers for their kids.
The fathers who fall into this type of behavior are actually little kids seeking to vindicate themselves. It is probable that they were victims of a similar style of education. One in which high expectations were placed on them, but they might not have fulfilled them all.
Their children remind them of the kids they once were. Fathers want to repair what “failed” within them. That one thing which stopped them from becoming the “Messi” of the team, or the child prodigy of the class room, or the businessman with the most money. They feel they have a debt and, thus, transfer that failure to their own children. They do this in an subconscious way and with the best of intentions. Fathers truly believe that their wish is to make their kids be better than they were. Deep down, they want for them to have a more complete life.