It Doesn't Mean Anything If You Don't Feel It

It Doesn't Mean Anything If You Don't Feel It

Last update: 04 May, 2018

How many times have you known what you were capable of, but were somehow unable to do it? When you can’t find the push you need to get you out of your rut, you stay stuck in an uncomfortable situation. That’s why it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t feel it. Even if you intellectually know your potential. If you don’t find some emotional charge, you may not have the energy to move.

Maybe this doesn’t just happen to you professionally but also in your relationships. For example, if you know that your romantic relationship has turned into nothing more than a friendship, but you don’t truly feel it, you’ll hold on to that relationship for years until the situation itself forces you to break up.

You’ll ask yourself, why is this happening to me? Emotions are very important for decision-making. It could be one of the reasons you aren’t able to do what you know you should do. It’s because your emotions are not cooperating: fear, false beliefs and insecurity may be holding you back.

If you don’t feel it, you can’t set boundaries

Even if you know your boss isn’t giving you the work conditions that you deserve… even if you are conscious that you want to end your relationship because you know it’s not working anymore… it doesn’t matter unless you feel it. You’ll stay there in the same situation without taking a step towards what you really long for.

It’s like we’re tied to something. It’s as if an “already written” destiny pushes us through life. But the problem is thinking that this is just how things are. Because the truth is that one single decision can turn things around 180º.

woman with lightbulbs representing feelings

It seems so clear when we give examples like this. Why should we tolerate a boss who treats us horribly? Why should we hold onto a dying relationship? Well, we should direct these kinds of questions towards something more essential. What am I afraid of? What am I trying to avoid?

Most likely, you have a lot of insecurity weakening your resolve to do things like look for a new job. Or maybe you’re terribly afraid of being single. Our fear creates an addiction to security that stems from attachment. It limit us to our comfort zone. It prevents us from feeling what we already know and taking steps to change our situation.

Our emotions are our engine

Our emotions are the engine that makes us run. Surely you can think of at least one time when you’ve acted without thinking. You didn’t need to think deeply about what you were going to do. Your body moved by itself, it took the initiative without thinking about whether things would turn out for the best. It took the risk.

However, we tend to prioritize our thoughts. We try to placate our feelings, ignoring their power to move us. In fact, we usually silence our feelings and make quite a lot of effort to not take that first step. We work hard to not show ourselves as we are.

Feel it: a woman with butterflies.

We must learn to manage our emotions. To listen to them, pay attention to them, and let them out. Having a balance between reasoning and emotions is a key to good decision-making. This includes facing certain fears that are simply the fruit of ingrained beliefs we have. Your mind may be wrong, but your emotions tend to speak very clearly.

If you know what you have to do but you’re not capable of carrying it out because you don’t feel it, it’s time for you to start making an effort to change. It’s not easy to alter certain behavioral patterns you’ve had for a long time. However, with a little help and willpower, you can see wonderful results.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.