Don’t Cling to Love, Hope or Fears

· September 26, 2017

It’s just not worth it. Don’t cling on to what needs to fly away from your life, don’t get your hopes up or dream about things that are already broken, and no longer support you. It is wise to accept it and courageous to know how to react in time, because those who don’t want to face the facts and keep struggling on every day with their blindfold and shield, end up feeling empty, devoid of hopes and self-esteem.

We know that in recent times a good part of psychology has been geared towards offering us suitable strategies to achieve many of our dreams and goals. We have learned about positive thinking, self-efficiency, motivation, self-confidence … but what happens when some of those things we achieved begin to collapse?

There are things that no longer stand, loves that change from color to black and white and faded hopes that we try to cling to. This isn’t good for you, you must let go of everything that wants to go … Even if it hurts.

Believe it or not, personal growth also requires being skilled at figuring out which battles no longer need to be fought, which doors should be closed and which aspects of our life are best to let go. Today we want to reflect with you on this topic, and also suggest that you remember a series of strategies to help you deal more adequately with these complicated situations.

False hopes and healing hopes

We are used to understanding the word hope as a realm of comfort and encouragement. It’s like a slap on the back on days of doubts, like a hug in times of trouble and a cup of hot chocolate on a teary afternoon. However, rather than a positive emotion, hope is also a cognitive dynamic to be reckoned with.

In this dimension lie many of those interpretations that we make about everything that surrounds us, whether correct or not. In our day-to-day hopes live schemes of thought, attributes and personal assessments. Hope is the one that tells us “hold on a little longer and you’ll see that everything will be sorted out” or “in the end he’s bound to realize that it’s me he really loves.”

We are talking about false hopes, those that seek to comfort us whatever the price, those we cling to hoping that things will work out to our liking, without discord or rifts. Yet we all well know that in this perfectly imperfect world nothing is infallible, that whoever tells us today “I love you”, tomorrow might say goodbye, and that, what we now take for granted, in a little while can be a fearful uncertainty.


The healing hope, as opposed to false hope, is the one that offers no resistance. It is the one that allows us to see things with greater clarity and maturity, being aware of what is no longer possible, and inviting us to look to the horizon and the sweet promise that what today has been lost, can be healed by tomorrow. Because defeat is not the end, but the beginning of something different.

How to let go of what can’t be sustained

Nobody lets anything go without having fought for it. Everything that is loved or valued requires great acts of courage, personal investment and sacrifice. However, everything has a limit, and that unbridgeable barrier that we should never give up is undoubtedly our self-esteem, our identity, our emotional balance.

And then, without knowing how, there comes a day when everything changes, when we let go of the fears, in which the obsolete and painful things fall away to give way to a new satin reality of inner peace and well-being …

As Brian Tracy, one of those motivational psychology gurus, tells us, “you will never get what you want in life if you just wait for things to change, and just keep on feeding your false expectations”. It is a way of falling into the subtle abyss of suffering.

To avoid these situations, we suggest that you take into account a series of strategies, which will open your eyes to healing hope, which knows how to look into the future in order to move forward.

Learning to accept the reality of what happens in our environment

There is a very interesting book entitled “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie. In its pages she teaches us the value of knowing how to accept the reality of the things that happen around us, whether on a romantic, work or personal level. It’s not a question at all of resigning ourselves to things, but of being able to love ourselves in order to keep moving forward and to provide new and better changes according to what we deserve.

We all, believe it or not, have an internal “radar” that tells us when something is not right. However, sometimes we don’t want to see it because it would mean having to face something we are not prepared for: a breakup, a change …

We must see these bad feelings and unhappiness as a clear and direct invitation to get ourselves moving, to take action, and, above all, to avoid feeding false hopes. It must be taken into account that when this malaise becomes chronic, it stops being a stimulus and starts to taint us with negativity and suffering.

Whatever wants to fall away from our lives, will do so sooner or later. Putting off the inevitable is a form of torture that we should not promote, because after all, giving up is not always an act of weakness, on the contrary, saying goodbye at the right time is the reflection of someone who is strong enough and brave enough to let go.