Emotional Rebirth

13 November, 2020
Emotional rebirth is a process that has several possible triggers. It occurs most often when you fall into a negative emotional state and you need to rebuild your emotional world.

Sometimes, you end up in a dark place and you don’t know what to do. At the time, it’s easy to feel as if all is lost, but it’s actually an opportunity to embrace your pain and begin an emotional rebirth process.

This isn’t an easy nor fast process. It’s an exercise in faith, the same kind of trust you put in your turn signal when you’re on the highway. You’ll start to see results after you make decisions and start to put in the work.

“You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you haven’t first become ashes?”

-Friedrich Nietzsche-

What’s emotional rebirth?

To understand the concept of emotional rebirth, the analogy of a phoenix rising from the ashes is a great visual. This is a big emotional shift in which the individual regenerates their emotional space after it’s compromised in some way. It’s like giving birth to a new relationship with their emotional selves.

Just like a phoenix, the individual takes flight after an event that causes pain and suffering. When that happens, they see their anguish through different eyes, and bravely forge new paths. Emotional rebirth involves moving past affliction to find yourself again and managing your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a different way. In this new space, you can plant seeds, discover new motivation, reach your goals, see things differently, and overcome obstacles.

A woman in warm light.

How to be emotionally reborn

There are different ways to intelligently deal with suffering. It isn’t about starting over with a clean slate. Instead, it’s about overcoming adversity by using the resources that you already have. It isn’t always easy to know what those resources are. Thus, the first step is to identify them.

Delve deep

Emotional rebirth involves self-awareness. You have to be reflective, patient, and kind to yourself. Little by little, you’ll figure out what’s happening to you. Once you can identify it, it’s much easier to manage.

In addition, it’s an opportunity to get to know yourself. Figure out who you want to be, who you are right now, where you want to go, and how you’d like to get there. Taking the time to reflect on these things helps you understand yourself better and follow a path you’re truly excited about.

It’s also an opportunity to recognize your strengths and weaknesses. You can use that information to deal with difficult situations and be emotionally reborn. On one hand, knowing your failures can help you avoid repeating them (sometimes). On the other hand, knowing your strengths helps you be able to quickly identify the skills you need when problems arise.

The lessons of an emotional rebirth

The old adage is that after a storm comes the calm. That can be true. However, it doesn’t just magically occur. This adage refers to that peace that often comes after dealing with a painful situation. To facilitate that calm, one of the most useful tools is knowing how to learn something from every situation. Here’s why:

  • It helps you know what not to do the second time around.
  • It helps you heal.
  • Learning from what you didn’t do helps you discover your limits.
  • It makes it easier to ask for help.
  • You get out of your comfort zone.
  • You can see different perspectives.
  • It fosters greater awareness.

Learning to fall and get back up again can help you overcome really difficult situations. Each time you manage to do it successfully, you learn more about how to deal with problems. That’s crucial since life will always be full of challenges.

A woman touching a butterfly.

Knowing how to say goodbye is key for emotional rebirth

Letting go means not getting attached to the past or to what you should’ve or could’ve done. You have to live in the present and value the here and now. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck in the past and make yourself suffer.

Therefore, you have to learn how to let goIt’s also important not to pressure yourself about the future since that can cause anxiety. This is really hard to do. However, if you overly fixate on the future, there’s no way for emotional rebirth to happen.

Knowing how to say goodbye doesn’t mean forgetting what made you suffer. It means embracing your pain, learning from it, and facing whatever comes next. The other reason it’s important to let go is that, if you don’t, your emotional baggage will become exhausting. Letting go of your pain doesn’t mean that it wasn’t important to you. It means making a healthier life for yourself, using your suffering to your advantage, and learning to flourish.

Resilience for dealing with suffering

Resilience is the ability to adapt to adverse situations. Some people are naturally resilient, while others learn to develop resilience. Here are some ways to foster resilience:

  • Be optimistic.
  • Learn from the situation.
  • Focus on your motivations.
  • Find your purpose.
  • Trust in your strengths and abilities.
  • Accept things as they are, as it’s the only way to progress.

Adversity has the potential to make you stronger and transform your pain into something positive. There are plenty of ways to channel your feelings, such as physical exercise, art, and friendships, among others.

Resilience is so important that it’s been the subject of myriad studies. Uriarte Arciniega at the University of the Basque Country, for example, wrote an article that described resilience as the window to optimism and the human ability to constantly adapt and get better.

A yellow flower in a person's hand.

Find a guide

While it’s true that you can draw on your own strength during difficult moments, sometimes, you just need help from someone else. If you’re embarrassed to ask for help or you’d rather try and fail, don’t close yourself off to others.

Asking for help is positive. That’s what a community is for. Talk to those you believe will be understanding. Telling someone else about your problems can get you some insight into possible solutions. Even if they don’t have any advice, sometimes it’s good to just get things off your chest. If you aren’t sure who to talk to, or you just want to be in expert hands, you can seek professional help.

You can also achieve emotional rebirth with the guidance of someone you love. Being vulnerable to someone else isn’t easy but knowing that you have someone you can count on is absolutely invaluable.

The benefits of an emotional rebirth

Emotional rebirth involves making suffering a part of your story without allowing it to cause additional pain. Here are some of the benefits of this rebirth:

  • Greater understanding.
  • Improved emotional management.
  • Greater capacity for resilience.
  • It helps you see things from different perspectives.
  • Acceptance.
  • Greater self-esteem.
  • It makes it harder to feel stuck.
  • It allows you to live in the present moment.
  • Greater awareness.
  • Improved self-knowledge.

We’re not saying that you’re going to be able to transform all your suffering into happiness. Other emotions come up as well. Little by little, you’ll be able to identify them and manage them to release tension. Every emotion is important and has something to teach you. It’s like a metamorphosis. You transform your suffering into a different emotion that serves as a starting point to something greater.

  • Martín, E. M. A. (2018). Inteligencia emocional. Elearning S.L.
  • Uriarte Arciniega. J.D.D (2005). La resiliencia. Una nueva perspectiva en psicopatología del desarrollo. Revista de psicodidáctica.