Emotional Dictators: Enemies of Our Wellbeing

· March 2, 2017

The key word of emotional dictators is “Me”. These people need to feel like they are totally in charge of every situation. When this doesn’t happen, they feel a great sense of frustration and intolerance. This personality is not hereditary. Instead, it is developed from social rules transmitted by one’s family and society.

Due to the characteristics of this personality, by definition these people are stable and consistent in their controlling tendencies. Authoritarian people tend to show this behavioral pattern with all people who are under their influence. For example, he who is dominant with their employees, will probably also be dominant with their partner and children. The same goes for any other people they perceive as vulnerable.

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These people are easy to recognize because they say what they think without looking for the right words. They don’t care if they hurt other people, and they justify themselves by exalting their sincerity. Yet, this sincerity is in reality authority disguised as honesty. In fact, they don’t have much time for other people. They are much more interested in their own results.

“Each emotion has its place, but it must not interfere with taking the appropriate action”
-Susan Oakey Baker-


The emotions of emotional dictators

Dictators are despots. They give orders and expect them to be immediately fulfilled. An emotional dictator will take for a fact that his system is not only the best one, but is the only one with inner coherency. Usually, he has a strong personality and is a big controller of everybody else. He’s competitive in every aspect.

An emotional dictator adores compliments and small talk, especially if it’s about him and his qualities. He’s aggressive and fierce when he’s being antagonized. Also, he always tries to psychologically intimidate others. He understands that showing off his power is a way of having control, and it also serves as a warning.

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With all these emotional “qualities”, it is not strange for him to end up irritating the people in his way, coercing them with his yelling, rage and arrogance. It is of vital importance that these other people develop their emotional intelligence. This way, the emotional dictators will be able to improve their capacity to feel, understand, control and modify their emotional states and understand the ones of others.

“Emotional intelligence represents 80 percent of success in life”
-Daniel Goleman-

Types of emotional dictators

Among all of the emotional dictators, we can find several types. There are some with the objective of destroying others self-esteem, creating doubts and dwarfing others in order to feel superior themselves. Others use fear to terrorize and paralyze, with the goal of becoming powerful.

There are also those who use jealousy to strategically manipulate people in order to deprive them of theirs resources, criteria and emotional stability. They require nonstop explanations and demand confessions and apologies. Emotional dictators need to place guilt on others so that their frustration, rage or anger may have meaning.

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These are people who don’t know how to empathize with others. Making an effort to try to understand others or to stand in somebody else’s shoes is really difficult for them. Emotional dictators usually focus on themselves and their own needs. Usually, they have very rigid expectations about others. They demand inflexible principles and norms that tend to give way to destructive criticism.

Identifying them is important for our emotional well-being, since interacting with them might cause various social, familiar or sentimental problems. If they are people close to us, we might recommend psychotherapy to them, in order for them to overcome the frustration, rage and anger that makes them act the way they do.