Don't Search, Simply Let Yourself Be Found

Don't Search, Simply Let Yourself Be Found
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Life is too short to chase after someone who doesn’t even notice you. It isn’t necessary to follow behind someone when they already know where you are, and they know you and all the mysteries about you.

The reality is that there are people out there who don’t truly care about you, even if you truly care about them. In these cases, it can be difficult to understand the situation you are in.

Keep in mind that your phone number hasn’t changed. It isn’t that there is a lack of time, but rather a lack of interest. Remember that when someone wants or needs something from someone or something, they are able to move the earth and sky to get it in just a few seconds.

Affection doesn’t beg 

Begging and pleading for the scraps of affection that doesn’t truly want to be given is not healthy, neither in the short term nor long term. However, there may be certain behavioral patterns that move you, emotionally, and lead you to find reasons to stay anchored down by the desire to keep a certain person in your life.

If you stop and think, though, that attitude will only lead you to unnecessarily prolong your emotional suffering. Subjecting yourself to the will of others will only turn you into a puppet, there to fulfill their every need and whim.

In this sense, as it may be obvious, there are things that happen because they have to happen, but other things happen when we let them happen. We cannot be free or happy if we live life clinging to and bound by a few hopes that are controlled by others.

girl on puppet strings yourself

Let the wind blow away that which is unnecessary in your life  

It can be difficult to release yourself and let go of that which you strongly consider to be yours, whether it be people or possessions. In other words, there are certain burdens you carry that unite you with a feeling of identity and belonging. This feeling can be fused with fear of losing that identity, or something directly related to it, that you believe is very important.

However, despite all of this emotional chaos that is attached to certain people, you end up exhausting yourself over the fact that they don’t value you. It is likely that when you realize this, you feel a certain selfishness, and this kind of impression is horrible for your emotional health.

Feeling like if we don’t endure it a little bit more or that we are failing certain people is something astonishingly common. This feeling is based on the fear that we have of confronting the empty space left behind by loss.

To explain it differently, it means you feel like if you stop sacrificing yourself, you will miss the opportunity to create part of the emotional history of your life. However, what you are really doing is behaving in the cruelest way possible towards yourself, towards your expectations, and towards your desires.

heart in condensation on window yourself

The path towards emotional freedom is paved in part by the weights we shed along the way; these are the burdens of emotions and of the effects of toxic people whom we must rid ourselves of as we go.

This is the only way to create a space for your strengths, to accept your mistakes, to figure out how to express your intentions, and make your way through the dilemmas in which you may find yourself. In this way you can prevent negativity from taking the place of positivity. By shedding this negativity, you can build up your passion for life and your own wellbeing.

It is not the person who can carry most who is the strongest, but rather the one who is able to know when to let go Consider all that surrounds you…the people, the places, your daily activities… Reflect on them and consider this list. If he, she, or it:

Doesn’t bring happiness to your life…Let it go.

Doesn’t enlighten you or build you up…Let it go.

Stays but doesn’t grow…Let it go.

Gives you false comfort to the point that it allows you to avoid personal growth…Let it go.

Doesn’t recognize your talents…Let it go.

Doesn’t caress your being…Let it go.

Is all talk, no action…Let it go.

Doesn’t have room in their life for you… Let them go.

Tries to change you…Let it go.

Selfishly imposes themselves in your life…Let them go.

Disagrees more than agrees with your principles and your life…Let it go.

Doesn’t add to your life in a positive way…Let it go.

Let it all go… the fall will be much less painful than the pain of clinging to the idea of something that could be but is not. 

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.