Does Summer Love Ever Last?
Who hasn’t had a summer love? Your memories of these loves almost inevitably will be wrapped up in the lyrics of a song, the smell of the sea, and the taste of nighttime kisses that lasted until sunrise.
These summer loves often occur when you’re a teenager. From then on, they tend to stay in your emotional memory forever. Although their endings are often stormy, involving a whole range of turbulent emotions, they’re always worth it in the end. In fact, you learn a lot from these fleeting loves. The kind of life learning you don’t get from books.
But summer love can happen at any age, even when you’re old and gray. Experts say they happen for very specific reasons. Firstly, love is always more appealing in summer. Although you might not realize it, when you’re freed from the usual constraints of routine, stress, and commitments, you’re more open and receptive to new experiences.
“Summer afternoon, to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.”
-Henry James-
Summer love, relaxation, and a brain looking for emotion
Longer days, outdoor activities, socializing, lower stress levels, the desire to do new things… Summer is magical.
As Tennessee Williams reflected in his works, in summer, everything’s more intense. Your emotions are in full bloom and your heart feels more willing to connect with others. In fact, multiple factors explain the effervescence of summer love.
Time stops and only the present matters
When summer comes, your mind only wants two things: to disconnect from your worries and to not think about what might happen come September or October. In fact, almost without realizing it, you start to put into practice the extraordinary process of simply focusing on the here and now.
This kind of approach means you tend to perceive and process things very differently. You’re more open to experience. You enjoy the little things. Even the food tastes better. In addition, your memory tends to anchor itself firmly in certain experiences. The smell of sunblock reminds you of the beach and the smell of popcorn reminds you of the fair and your first kiss with your summer love.
Things are more intense at this time of year and your brain is keener to fall in love.
Neurochemistry
In summer, almost everything changes. You feel more relaxed. You’re more interested in what’s around you. Your body loves the sunshine and you feel more open and willing to socialize. All this can make it easier to fall in love. However, there’s another fascinating fact.
A relaxed brain is a happy brain. This means that you release more endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. The kind of neurochemistry that invites you to connect with others. Therefore, relationships tend to flow more spontaneously in the summer, a time that, in itself, is more oriented towards relaxation.
Summer loves are like champagne bubbles. They’re intense, dizzying, and make you feel good. In turn, your brain contributes by constantly releasing oxytocin and norepinephrine.
Does summer love ever last?
There are some summers when you live as if you’re suspended in another dimension. There’s no past or future, only the present, which is overflowing with emotion, magic, and intense feelings. There are no worries, just the pleasure of experiencing the here and now with your summer love. However, this perfect balance is over once summer comes to an end.
The magic spell is broken when you have to go back to your usual commitments. You probably have to go home and end a relationship that, in some way, had an expiration date right from the start. However, is this always the case? Are all summer loves mere fleeting experiences?
Healthy and harmful summer loves
Not all summer loves come to an end. As a matter of fact, some mature and become stable and happy relationships.
Nevertheless, as a rule, these summer romances tend to end along with the first storms of fall. In addition, some are painful and cause real grief, whether you’re a teenager or an adult.
For this reason, you should set yourself some clear guidelines to better manage your summer loves
- Know what you want from the start. Are you looking for a serious relationship? Or is it best for you to have a romance with no obligations or commitments? If you have a partner, are you okay with being unfaithful and handling the consequences? You should clarify these points first.
- A summer romance can be healthy if you don’t expect too much from it and simply live in the moment. In fact, some people appreciate these experiences even though they know they won’t last.
- If you’re wanting a long-term relationship, you should be more cautious. For this reason, try not to get emotionally involved with someone who has no intention of the romance lasting beyond the summer.
Many summer loves have a happy ending. Some start in this spontaneous and relaxed kind of way and last for decades. On the other hand, some might only last the summer but are remembered forever. For this reason, don’t deny yourself the opportunity. Because loving someone, no matter how brief, is always worthwhile.