Complicity Is Even Better Than Love

Complicity Is Even Better Than Love
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 17 December, 2021

You always want to find someone whose demons get along with your own. Someone who has the key to your own locks, and with whom you feel so confident that you let them in without any fear. Someone with whom your true self resurfaces and you’re able to be yourself.

This feeling is better than love. That’s because you find in this soulmate of yours another part of you without even having to say anything. You hold on to them tightly and don’t let the present slip away while you think about everything that awaits you in your future together.

Some call these people their home. That’s because they give the warmth of a comforting hug and the strength necessary for their partner to face their day to day routine.

They make you breathe, love, and smile foolishly when you look at them.

Couple kissing by the river

The body language of complicity

Some looks say it all. In fact, what we call complicity is a special union that transcends love, although at the same time it’s flooded with it. Because complicity isn’t just loving, above all, it’s understanding.

“I still think that our best dialogue was between our glances. Words, consciously or unconsciously, often lie, but eyes never fail to be truthful.

If I have ever tried to lie to someone with my eyes, my eyelids fall, they spontaneously lower their protective curtain, and there they remain until I and my eyes recover the obligation of the truth.

With words, everything is more complex, but even so, if the words try to deceive, the eyes tend to deny the mouth.”

-Mario Benedetti-

With complicity, your looks, gestures, or hugs hold no secrets. Your soulmate knows the truth if, when you say you’re fine, you’re really not. In fact, they probably don’t even need to look at you or hear you speak to know. They’re not fortune-tellers but they understand you beyond mere appearances.

This connection goes way beyond a sincere smile or a wise look. In fact, an atmosphere is created between you both that becomes a kind of emotional prophecy linking both your feelings and your hearts.

Hands of a couple joined

A home where souls fly

“People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet in your life, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert-

Your soulmate makes you laugh and smile without saying anything at all. They’re always there, they never leave. They’re proud of what you achieve and who you are, while at the same time they’re not afraid to tell you what they think or in telling you if you’ve made a mistake.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t have misunderstandings or arguments sometimes, but even these are helpful in breaking down any barriers between you. In fact, your soulmate marks a turning point in your life, from which you will never go back. They fill your every moment with tenderness.

Complicity allows you to accept without demands. You don’t need to change the way you are to satisfy childish or extreme needs. You compliment each other perfectly.

Add instead of subtract

As His Holiness, the Dalai Lama claims “If you don’t add, at least don’t subtract.” Indeed, complicity is about adding. Therefore, if being with someone means you have to take something away from yourself, then think twice about them. Complicity allows you to be you and get the best of yourself. If someone tries to clip your wings, there’s no complicity.

One clear example of complicity, although on a different level, can be found in the songwriters, John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Separately, they are/were great musicians, but together they formed one of the best groups in the history of modern music. The same happens with relationships in which complicity exists. One highlights the qualities of the other, enhances them, makes them grow, and elevates them to levels that could previously never be imagined.

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