Bittersweet People: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Bittersweet People: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez

Written and verified by the psychologist María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

Each one of us relates to people in different ways. Thus, there are people who prefer close contact and others who are more distant. There are people who trust other people easily, and others who are more guarded. In this sense, there are also people who make your life bitter while others specialize in making it sweeter. Then, there are bittersweet people.

When we interact with sweet people, we feel that we’re listening to the best of melodies. They treat us well and know how to use the right words. They’re sincere in a sensitive way. They’re very different from people who embitter our lives.

“Don’t trust sweet words. Many people have sugar in their mouth but venom in their hearts.”

Bittersweet people: What are they like?

There are people who make us think they’re the best thing that’s happened to us because they tell us what we want to hear. Often, with their praises, they want our approval or to make us feel good. They can even pursue both goals at the same time. In any case, when their words aren’t sincere, their actions often betray them.

Bittersweet people arguing.

For example, someone can say we’re the best at looking after children but never let us babysit their own kids. No matter how sweet their words are, their actions reveal their true feelings about us, which can be hurtful. Even so, sometimes it’s difficult to cast them aside. Despite knowing that their words aren’t true, we’re tempted to revel in them.

It’s as if we forget the pain they’ve caused us for a moment. Their words produce such a sense of security and confidence that it’s difficult to go back to reality and understand that they’re lying.

Bittersweet people make your life bitter

If someone’s words don’t coincide with their actions, it’s likely they’ll make your life bitter. Additionally, they usually have the following traits:

  • They’re not sincere. Once you catch them in their first lie, you’ll start to be more suspicious. Other facts they might have shared may be false or they have other motivations.
  • They’re not spontaneous. Lying is complicated. It requires a lot of remembering and self-control.
  • What makes you feel bad isn’t important to them. They do nothing to help or don’t change their behavior even when you tell them the things that make you feel uncomfortable.
  • They manipulate. With their words, they make you feel guilty for not behaving in a certain way. They take advantage of what you say, not hesitating to turn it against you and in their favor.

People that use your words against you to take advantage of you aren’t worth it. They only try to harm you or seek their own benefit. There’s an interest involved. If you feel trapped by the words of somebody who doesn’t treat you well and repeatedly makes you feel bad, you should stay away from them.

Now, not everybody is artificially sweet. On the contrary, there are many who firmly believe in what they say when they praise us. Also, there are many people who give us sincere compliments. They point out what they like about us because they really do like us.

How to protect yourself from bittersweet people

Sometimes it’s difficult to know how to protect yourself from people who make our lives bitter, especially if they use sweet words at the same time. However, there are several strategies that can help us:

  • Setting boundaries.
  • Trusting ourselves.
  • Appreciating ourselves.

Protecting ourselves from people who make our lives bitter is our responsibilityIf we can set boundaries, why not do it? This way, it’ll be easier to protect ourselves.

Bittersweet people can hurt others.

Advantages of protecting yourself from bittersweet people

Protecting ourselves from people who are deceptively charming helps us free ourselves from them. Little by little, these people become toxic. They do it gradually to make it harder to break free from them. Some of the advantages of setting boundaries are:

  • More peace.
  • Less stress.
  • Less guilt.
  • Greater security.
  • Improved self-esteem.
  • Increased self-awareness.
  • Greater harmony.

Self-awareness will be your ally when it comes to setting boundaries with a bittersweet person. Having a better connection with yourself will also make it easier to be more assertive.

Don’t let your life become a living hell. Remember that there are artificial sweeteners everywhere. Stopping them is up to you. Why listen to somebody who says beautiful words but treats you badly? At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words, no matter how sweet they may seem.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.