Be Yourself and the Right People Will Come into Your Life
This idea might seem so logical at first sight. Yet it’s one of the main reasons people get counseling. The symptoms are almost always the same: mental exhaustion, extreme physical tiredness, and feeling like you’ve lost your way. Feeling overcome by other people’s opinions, the pressures of work and home, and the noise of a world you don’t identify with anymore.
“The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to be somebody else.”
-EE Cummings-
When you stop being yourself and become what others expect you to be, you lose the most beautiful part of your being: your own identity. Even worse, when you set aside what makes you unique to become a “normal” person. A nice, amenable, easy person. You allow people into your life who you would actually prefer to keep far away.
Little by little and without realizing it, your days become gray. There’s no brightness to inspire you or spontaneity to motivate you. Thus, it is your responsibility to discover and defend your own light, that one thing which makes you different. The one thing which makes you special in a world where everything is replaceable.
Be yourself in a world full of like-minded people
The co-founder of Harvard University’s negotiation program, William Ury, is one of the world’s greatest experts in the subject of communication. He has made a very valuable contribution to the field of personal growth.
In his work, he also describes psychological processes about learning how to be happier in these complex and highly demanding personal, social, and professional environments.
In Dr. Ury’s book “Getting to Yes”, he explains that the biggest problem people have when it comes to communicating, reaching agreements, or even establishing meaningful personal relationships is that we don’t believe in ourselves.
When we feel insecure, we put on masks and armor. If we live in fear, we will attract failure at every level.
Being yourself in a society which works hard to create like-minded people is not easy. Schools teach children to think the same way. And many companies also prefer docile workers who won’t challenge the organization’s policies.
It is not easy to be unique when everything points us towards the same road and the same destination.
Despite of all this, you have an obligation to yourself to put in some effort, to fight for who you are: a unique person. But being true to yourself has a cost.
You may be misunderstood, the lonely kid in the back row or the feisty employee who protests everything and insists on doing work his own way. It’s hard, we know. However, saying yes to yourself puts you on the road to real happiness.
Just be yourself and special people will come into your life
People who are authentic, free, spontaneous, and a bit crazy are attractive. There’s one simple reason: they have said “yes” to themselves. “Yes” to accepting themselves as they are. “Yes” to being themselves even if other people don’t like them.
“Personal growth begins when we are capable of accepting our own weaknesses.”
-Jean Vanier-
Right when you take this valuable but difficult step, everything changes. You talk more confidently. You are no longer worried about being liked by other people, because you are simply not looking for approval anymore.
Being accepted at all costs isn’t something you obsess over anymore. Because of this new mental and emotional state, sooner or later you “attract” the most wonderful friends and perhaps “the one”. People who accept and like you as you are, without a ounce of insecurity or fakeness.
Up next, we’ll give you some ways to help you reaffirm yourself: to say “yes” to your own wonderful identity.
Tips to be yourself and attract the kind of people you want
You must connect with yourself before you can influence or make an impact on others. That confidence in your own being is what will open doors for you.
- Step into your own shoes. It is quite possible you are used to putting yourself in other people’s positions, but… how long has it been since you got in touch with your inner needs, emotions and realities? Today is a good day to start.
- Commit to yourself. Say “NO” to doing, saying or showing something you don’t want or don’t really think. “YES” to being yourself, “yes” to acting and behaving without fear.
- Embrace the present. Maybe you don’t like your past self. It may really bother you. But, that doesn’t matter. Your opportunities exist in the “here and now”. So create, transform and leave the imprint of your identity on everything you do.