How to Be Strong When Your Heart Has Been Broken

We've all had our hearts broken at some time in our lives, which is why we know what a difficult situation it can be to face. However, there are some helpful tips that can help you overcome it.
How to Be Strong When Your Heart Has Been Broken
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Written by Okairy Zuñiga

Last update: 07 December, 2022

When your heart has been broken, you’re completely in shock. You can’t believe your relationship is over. You cry and feel angry. In fact, it’s impossible for you to focus on anything other than your loss.

Your heart has been broken and you don’t know how to start putting the pieces of your life back together. You thought you’d be strong, but it seems that your strength has disappeared. What can you do to regain it?

Find meaning in the situation

At a time like this, you find yourself continually asking the question why. There are no satisfactory answers to this question. When you feel hurt, it seems that there’s no way of justifying your pain.

girl hugging a heart

The key to finding meaning when your heart has been broken lies in believing that it happened for a reason. You may not be able to see it right now. It usually takes some time to understand. However, once you’ve managed to emotionally distance yourself a little, you’ll be able to find it.

When your heart is broken it’s common that you focus on negative feelings . But you must be clear that it happened because something better is coming in the future . If you keep this in mind, you’ll feel stronger.

Be proud that you took the risk

It’s true that you didn’t get the result you expected. However, many people don’t even dare to take a chance on love. You did. You opened your heart to another person. This requires a lot of courage and bravery.

If it didn’t work this time, maybe it will next time. Even if your heart is broken, you should always continue to move forward and give yourself new opportunities.

“Sadness flies away on the wings of time.”

-Jean de la Fontaine-

Move with your emotions

It’s easy to pity yourself after your heart has been broken. You might enter a state of complacency and comfort. The problem is that staying there will be damaging to your future relationships.

You must force yourself to move on and experience new emotions. Give yourself time to feel your pain and denial, but, after a few days, force yourself to continue. Try and fill your life with positive feelings. Don’t forget about your friends and family. Organize an outing with that friend you haven’t seen for a long time.

Accept your options

It’s all too easy to focus on the things that should’ve happened, instead of the things that can. The route you take is up to you.

Just be aware that thinking about what could’ve been will only maintain your anger and sadness. On the other hand, thinking about what might happen in the future gives you the opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences. Stop questioning your abilities.

“My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living.”

-Pablo Neruda-

Look for beauty

woman surrounded by flowers

Do any activity that you enjoy and that allows you to get in touch with the beauty of life. Because when your heart is broken, you forget all the wonderful things around you. You must discover them again.

Go to a museum or take a walk in the woods. Have a makeover or just make a few small changes in your life. This will allow you to discover your own beauty and realize that, although it didn’t work this time, it wasn’t your fault.

Focus on a hobby that you like

Maybe you love to paint, draw or write. Or, perhaps you enjoy a particular sport. Instead of letting yourself continually be swept up in your overwhelming emotions, focus on one activity that you enjoy doing. This will help you relax and focus on the here and now, instead of getting caught up in memories of your past relationship.

Exercise

Get moving by exercising or playing a sport you like. Go to the gym, or take a nature walk. Physical activity increases serotonin in your brain. This acts as a natural antidepressant and improves your mood. You’ll also have more energy and feel better about yourself.

If your heart is broken, find some company

We’re taught to keep our emotions secret. But, when your heart is broken you must break this barrier. You need to be helped and listened to, so find someone who will. Otherwise, you’ll feel really lonely and may even fall victim to severe depression

You’ll also feel fragile and vulnerable. However, b y sharing your emotions you’ll realize that you’re not alone. In addition, you’ll be able to look at the situation from a really different perspective. This will help you to see the situation in depth. Moreover, your relationship with your friends and family will become stronger.

Spend time with your friends

Your friends can help and comfort you and make sure you have a good time. Try planning a movie night, going to the zoo, or the beach, or trying a new restaurant. Remember the fun you used to have with them and try to get back that part of your life that you’d forgotten about.

Give thanks

When your heart is broken, you feel so angry and sad that it’s difficult to see the good in anything. Don’t let these negative feelings blind you. Think about the good times you went through with your partner and be thankful for them.

“I do my thing and you do your thing… You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.”

-Fritz Perls-

Sometimes, the best thing that can happen to a relationship is for it to end. Even if this is your case, there are positive things that the relationship will have brought to your life. Take your time and thank your ex-partner. Don’t worry, you don’t have to see them or be in contact with them. An internal thank you is enough.

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The contents of Exploring Your Mind are for informational and educational purposes only. They don't replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment of a professional. In the case of any doubt, it's best to consult a trusted specialist.