Attain a Deeper Connection with Your Lover

20 May, 2020
Attaining a deeper connection with your significant other is a challenge that requires not only motivation but understanding, effort, and respect.
 

When people try to attain a deeper connection in their relationships, they tend to place more emphasis on how much affection they receive rather than its quality. The point here is that, perhaps, the goal shouldn’t be to constantly show affection in order to prove you love someone. Instead, you must find ways to strengthen this feeling so it’s deeper and more solid. Hence, being more loving toward your partner should be one of the top priorities in your relationship.

It isn’t easy to enrich a relationship and make a higher contribution to its balance and well-being. Truly loving means raising the quality and depth of your bond and, thus, requires effort and perseverance.

How to attain a deeper connection with your significant other

These seven tips will help you become a more loving partner. They consist of improving your behavior and adopting certain attitudes that foster trust, intimacy, and mutual recognition.

1. Respect each other’s interests

It may seem obvious but it isn’t. In theory, everyone knows how important it is to respect each other’s interests. However, people don’t always put it into practice, especially when said interests collide with their own

“One another” stands for “each of two people”. Thus, it’s no wonder you’re interested in different things; it’s actually quite normal and healthy. However, it’s not normal when such differences become a reason for contempt and feed resentments. Also, when they unleash a desire to distrust or control one another, especially when there’s no reason for it.

 
Two people on bicycles.

2. Accept each other as you are

Accepting each other means not wanting to change one another and respecting them in every way. Everyone has flaws and limitations and may annoy others. Still, you should expect your partner to accept “the whole package” and all of your strengths and weaknesses.

You must give up any desire to change what you don’t like about your partner in order to be more loving with them. Note that this isn’t about sucking it up when they really hurt you but about understanding that some of their traits are natural to them.

3. Listening is one of the keys for attaining a deeper connection with your lover

Some people remain silent and purse their lips while their partner speaks, while others simply refuse to listen. Only a few people understand what open non-judgmental listening is about.

Listening is about the ability to understand people in their own terms and not on yours. A person who feels you’re paying attention to what they’re saying will also be motivated to listen to you. This is important because good communication is the backbone of any relationship.

Two people holding hands.
 

4. Focus on each other’s strengths rather than on your shortcomings

Generally, people only pay attention to the good side of their new lover at the beginning of a relationship. However, this perception changes quite a bit over time. In fact, as time goes by, some disappointed people even make a 180-degree turn and begin to focus only on their partner’s shortcomings.

You must keep this from happening if you want to be a more loving partner. It’s very easy to do so, in fact. This is because, by maintaining a receptive and positive attitude, you soon find out that bringing out the best of each other is the best you can do for your relationship.

5. Doing your best is key for attaining a deeper connection

There are many sides to a human being, and most of them are very different from each other. Someone may be courageous today but will be afraid tomorrow. People are sentient beings and everyone’s identity is somewhat unstable because it’s subject to ever-changing circumstances.

It becomes easier to understand that your partner may already be doing their best when you exercise goodwill towards them. You may not know the reasons why they act a certain way. However, you neither have the right to question their intentions nor to measure their efforts by your standards.

6. Acknowledge each other’s efforts

Life isn’t easy for anyone but it does become easier when you can share it with a special someone. People get into relationships because they want company and a loving hand to hold on to whenever they need it.

 

It’s easier for the person you love to recognize your efforts when you become a source of happiness and gratitude. Behold the power of approval and endorsement, as they’re powerful motivators. They bring people together. Thus, they’re truly important for becoming a more loving partner.

7. Show affection with both words and deeds

It’s sad to hear how many people these days think that expressing affection is either corny or overly mushy. Everyone needs affection, as it’s the emotional nourishment that makes you stronger.

A couple working towards a deeper connection.

It isn’t enough to love your partner silently and only show it in the most difficult moments. You must express affection as often as you can in order to strengthen your relationship. It doesn’t have to be schmaltzy but mainly a set of gestures that show how significant your special someone is to you.

Building a strong and healthy relationship greatly enriches your life. For one, it’s beneficial to your mental health and it also leads to better physical health. Finally, a loving relationship makes you a better person and helps you thrive in other aspects of your life. Become a more loving person!

 
  • Salgado, C. (2003). El desafío de construir una relación de pareja. Editorial Norma.