It Is Always Possible to Trust Again
One could agree that trusting in oneself is more important than trusting others. It may sound harsh and contrary to what our parents and teachers have taught us. Well, truth be told, when we are children we rely very much on the people around us, but life often makes us distrustful, many times with reason, but often without it.
And that is even more true if we have been betrayed, if our trust has been broken, either by a relevant fact or if we were simply spoken ill of behind our backs by those to whom we had given our trust.
We are not required to be trusted. We give our trust because we feel that it is a value, something beautiful, and for that reason it is necessary to be alert and know who to offer it to. It is important to keep your eyes and ears open and follow the development of a new relationship.
Being betrayed is a very hard experience for anyone. It feels like a personal attack on our honesty and our good feelings. Many times, in a situation of this nature, some people “lower the blinds” and prefer to isolate themselves. Some even become somewhat anti-social and prefer solitude, perhaps for fear of a new betrayal.
But let’s think, how many of those people have we met? And how many of the others take our confidence and don’t do anything but enlarge it? Surely the latter far outweigh the former. So why allow the former to hit us so hard? It is a bit unfair, both to others and to ourselves, isn’t it?
This does not mean we shouldn’t feel the “hit”. It’s about what to do next. Should we discard all those who try to come into contact with us? Do we become defensive with people who come into our lives later on? Will we avoid others indefinitely? And if we lose someone wonderful or a situation that will change us for the better? The risk of having such an attitude is too much, don’t you think?
So once that sadness goes away, because it is inevitable and we need to experience it, let’s make the effort to “return to the world” in order to reconnect with those who are worth it. But let’s do so with open eyes and with our confidence in our hand to dedicate it to the person who really deserves it.
It is true that trust is not free. It has been earned through years of experience and good relationships. Relationships with our family, with friends, with colleagues, with our coworkers, our bosses, store owners, and even with the people we do not know on the subway and who we know will take care of us, tend to our needs, who will give us a hand if they see we are having difficulties and who will smile if they see us laughing out loud.
We can’t always look at the world as a wide, strange place full of potential dangers and sufferings. Let’s make it our own and trust again, with open arms, with attentive senses and an awakened heart.
Image courtesy of rogiro