7 Ways To Get Along Better With Your Ex
Whether or not you want to get along better with your ex is a very personal matter. However, maintaining a good relationship with the person who used to be your partner has many advantages. Although it is not always easy to maintain a cordial relationship, it can end up being essential in some cases, for example, if you have a child together or if for some reason you must see one another often.
Life takes many twists and turns, and you never know what is going to happen. Not getting along well is only going to breed negativity, which is going to spread into everything having to do with your relationship.
Below, we will see some ways to get along well with your ex and to maintain the most healthy relationship possible.
1. Leave the past behind you
The past is a very heavy burden that does not let you move forward. Leave behind the mistakes, the lies, the deceits, the boredom. Look ahead and carry on without baggage. Learn from the experience: that is the only thing that you have to take with you.
If you carry all of that with you, you will not be able to look them in the eye or maintain a conversation. If you are at work, have children or friends in common, this will spoil everything; it will affect your other personal relationships and it can even affect your work life. You do not have to be friends, but you do not have to be enemies for life.
2. Do not argue about things that have no solution
Sometimes, it is not easy to leave everything behind, and without meaning for it to happen, an old problem comes up. Biting your tongue helps bring about new topics of discussion. If there is no remedy for the situation, there is no point in discussing it further.
On the other hand, the experience will have taught you how far you can go in a conversation with your ex and can even teach you to predict whether or not that discussion will go down a good path. Choose your battles, and do not draw your weapons during one that you cannot win. Just put them away and change the topic.
3. Defend yourself
You have an obligation to stand firm and defend your position when it is necessary. Leaving the past behind does not mean forgetting why certain decisions were made.
You have to demand respect for yourself in the same way that you respect others. A difference of opinion is the underlying reason for every argument. Respecting and demanding respect on those differing or opposing points of view will allow you to maintain a cordial relationship, in so far as this is possible.
4. Forgive them and forgive yourself
This is not easy, but it is necessary. There is a shared responsibility in every problem between two people. Forgiving them and yourself is necessary to move on, regardless of whether or not you want, can, or have to maintain a cordial relationship with your ex.
Not forgiving feeds anger, hatred, blame, revenge, and bitterness, useless emotions when you are trying to move on to a new life and start to be the person that you really want to be.
5. Be compassionate and understanding
Maybe they do not deserve it, but you do. Maybe they will not appreciate it, but you will. Show them, and more importantly, show yourself that you are above everything that has happened to you, that you can overcome it all, and that, even if it hurts, the pressure will not bring you down, but rather, it will raise you up.
A compassionate and understanding attitude will allow you to get over the grudge and leave behind that heavy baggage that ties you in a thousand knots.
6. Keep a healthy distance
Maintaining a relationship with your ex can also awaken confused emotions. Being friendly, understanding, and even affectionate can lead to misunderstandings.
If what you want is to try again, you have to figure out what caused the breakup in the first place and be sure that it is salvageable, because there are things that do not change — not only about the other person, but also about you.
Keeping a healthy distance is the best way to avoid misunderstandings and to give yourself a chance to explain things, especially things pertaining to yourself.
7. Truly desire your happiness and theirs
Just because things were not good between you does not mean that you do not have the right to be happy and to have a second chance. You have your own chance and your ex has theirs.
If you have managed to let go of the grudge, it is time to also let go of the envy and jealousy.