7 Toxic Behaviors that Push People Away

· November 30, 2018

Just like we can develop behaviors that attract people, we can also develop toxic behaviors that push people away. These toxic behaviors can negatively influence our relationships with family or friends. Therefore, to care for those we love and not threaten our support system, we should identify and change those toxic behaviors that push people away.

Sometimes, envy fuels these behaviors. Envy is a negative emotion that can damage our relationships and affect communication.

1. Being jealous of other people’s success

The first toxic behavior that pushes people away is that emotion we mentioned before combined with feeling like you haven’t succeeded in anything. If you detect this behavior, it’s best to try to stop comparing yourself to others.

It’s true that comparisons give us valuable social information. For example, comparing ourselves to others can tell us if we’re the best or worst in a category. Consequently, we can use comparisons to our advantage. However, when we’re especially prone to envy, comparing ourselves to others won’t help at all.

Woman showing toxic behaviors that push people away.

2. Taking criticism personally

It’s not a good idea to have a defensive attitude and attack others to defend ourselves from criticism. If you tend to do this, you should calm down and try to divert the stream of words away from your ego. Ego is what usually makes us take criticisms as personal attacks.

This obviously doesn’t mean that we should adopt a passive attitude, unmoved by what others think of us. Instead, we should adjust our judgment to thus be able to intelligently take advantage of other people’s perception.

3. Treating yourself like a victim

Acting like the victim is also one of those toxic behaviors that push people away. This can happen when we feel like all of the problems are directed towards us. It will only hinder your personal development.

4. Obsessing over pain: One of the toxic behaviors

Whenever we feel bad or suffer in some way, it’s normal for these negative emotions to go away eventually. However, if we build up pain and resentment every time we go through some difficult situation, we’ll end up becoming bitter and toxic.

5. Not controlling our emotions

People should always work on controlling their emotions. In this sense, recognizing that freaking out or having episodes of rage, as well as crying and throwing tantrums, pushes people away is a valuable first step.

This only projects an image of immaturity that makes others think we have little self-control. For this reason, we propose you apply emotional intelligence. Listen to what others have to say about you and manage your emotions for your benefit.

Man showing signs of toxic behaviors that push people away.

6. Lacking empathy

Empathy is a very positive quality. Knowing how to put yourself in other people’s shoes will allow you to understand their problems. Doing so will also boost your emotional intelligence.

Therefore, being empathetic towards others strengthens our bonds with others.

7. Not respecting boundaries

We have to respect other people’s boundaries if we want them to respect ours. When it comes to determining another person’s boundaries, take into account who you’re interacting with. Their social environment can give us clues to what they like and don’t like.

For example, Japanese and Chinese people tend to keep a greater distance with others. On the other hand, Mediterranean people don’t have so many qualms when it comes to establishing physical contact or approaching other people to talk.

We should avoid these toxic behaviors that push people away to enjoy a healthier and happier life and establish good relationships with others.

Albrecht, Karl (2005): “Inteligencia social. La nueva ciencia del éxito”. Disponible en: http://www.elmayorportaldegerencia.com/Libros/CRM/%5BPD%5D%20Libros%20-%20Inteligencia%20social.pdf