7 Tips to Foster Resiliency in Children

· July 18, 2017

We would save ourselves a lot of problems if we would develop certain qualities when we are children. One of them, without a doubt, is resiliency. Promoting resiliency from childhood is possible. It is not necessary for the child to be older to acquire that valuable trait.

Remember that resiliency is the quality that allows human beings to stay afloat in the face of adversity, overcome challenges and be strengthened by them. Of course, a child’s problems come from a different dimension than that of adults. But that is not to say that resiliency cannot be encouraged.

“Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm.”

-Sidney J. Phillips

We will show you a series of strategies that will help you foster resiliency in children. It involves with simple actions, sometimes even obvious ones, yet that many times are forgotten. Do not let this happen, you can be certain that a child will be grateful to you his whole life for helping him be more resilient. 

Learning How to Make Friends

To foster resiliency it is necessary to teach them how to make friendsIsolation is a factor that promotes insecurity and fear. An isolated child is a child we should give attention to. We need to remember that not all children have a great capacity to manage themselves socially, so it would be good to give them a helping hand in this task.

How do we teach them to make friends? Very carefully. Not having friends can be a very sensitive subject for a child. Thus, it is never a good idea to imply that they are to blame for this situation. If we did it is very likely they will adopt one of the following two attitudes: shutting down to protect himself or doing something desperate and sometimes even dangerous to be accepted by someone.


On the other hand, a child that does not have friends is normally an insecure child. So, we as adults have to strengthen their security by telling them everything they are doing right in social settings. We can also correct them, but we always want to focus on specific behaviors and only in front of people the child trusts.

Learning How to Help Others Strengthens Them

Solidarity and cooperation are fundamental to emotional development. If the child learns how to help others, he will feel more useful and valuable. It will also strengthen his ability to develop empathy. In the future, this will be one of his pillars of psychological strength.

The best way to encourage helpful behavior is by your example. First by helping him and by extension encouraging this same attitude in the family. Playing is a great way for him to prove to himself the benefits of working as a team.

To Learn to Establish and Maintain a Routine

Establishing a routine is fundamental for children, especially for smaller children. This gives them a feeling of security and stability and decreases their fears and anxieties because they know what is going to happen next. Furthermore, routines allow them to evaluate whether or not they are living properly.

At first, there should be bedtimes and a time to get up. There should also be set meal times. The same should be true for school, homework and even time to rest. These times should only be altered or changed if there are good reasons to do so. 

To Learn How to Take Care of Himself

If what we are trying to do is foster resiliency, the child must learn how to be responsible with a goal on the horizon: their own well-being. This does not mean he should take care of himself, by himself, but rather, that he should think about his physical and emotional well-being when he is alone and does not have the protection of parents and adult family members.

It is important that when you give them food, you also explain why it is good for them, and why this is important. It is also good to stress the importance of sports, laughing, hygiene and good personal appearance. In any case, with practice, he will learn self-care.

To Learn How to Rest

Rest is just as important as work. To properly accomplish activities it is good for the body to be rested and the mind clear. For example, it is of no use to study a lot if we do not allow our minds to assimilate and process all the knowledge we are taking in.

As we have previously said, you should be a good example and you should also take the time to rest. On the other hand, resting does not necessarily mean doing nothing. Many times, we can get the benefits by doing activities that do not require a great deal of attention.

To Learn How to Set Goals

This is a far-reaching element. It is good for the child to learn how to set reasonable goals in conjunction with their abilities and resources. The fact that they learn how to set goals that will be physically demanding, but at the same time reachable, will go a long way in strengthening their self-esteem. Whether it be during childhood or for their whole life.

On the other hand, more than just achieving goals, the child also needs fulfilling goals. For example, instead of asking them to get a certain grade in school, it would be better to set the goal of learning some study techniques and for them to practice those techniques for a few minutes each day. Celebrate when they do. Make them see that this in of itself is a great achievement.

To Learn to See Difficulties as a Challenge

There are many small everyday tasks that a child can see as difficult. Remember that they are fragile and immature. For them, not being able to reach a jar on a shelf can be a source of great frustration.

That’s where it is a good idea for you to step in and turn the ‘big problem’ into something small that can be resolved. Show by your own attitude that their distress is not needed. When he is older, excitedly evaluate the situation with him to see how it can be resolved. 

If you apply these simple tips you will contribute to the child being more resilient. That is a gift that, if given during childhood, will help them avoid many of the problems in this era and future eras. Fostering resiliency, however, is one of the greatest challenges of child-rearing.