5 Things to Say to End Any Argument
Some people think that “arguments are the death of conversation,” like Emil Ludwig. But others believe that arguments may even be a positive thing, and avoidable. Could this be true? Let’s try to find some answers.
Professor Javier Escrivá Ivars is the director of the Masters in Marriage and Family at the University of Navarra and a professor at the University of Valencia. He believes that arguing is good, but fighting is destructive.
That is to say, in an argument, we shouldn’t break certain rules. Especially if we don’t want to make this exchange of opinions turn destructive. And to do so, certain phrases can be extremely useful.
“Sometimes confrontation is necessary, and I like that.”
-Louis Bourgeois-
Things to say to end an argument
Up next, we are going to give you some expressions that can nip an argument in the bud before it turns into a fight. But of course, these aren’t cure-all magic wands.
So don’t forget, if the conversation heats up, as Professor Escrivá Ivars says, try to bring out your humility and generosity. And don’t ever forget about empathy.
These are indispensable tools if you truly want to improve your life, your relationships, and your arguments. Otherwise, an ordinary conversation can turn deadly.
If you’re correct in what you’re saying…
This is a phrase that shows you can acknowledge points you have in common with the other person. So in an argument, a moment of conflict, we won’t be encouraging distance between us and them. Instead, we will be encouraging closeness and mutual agreement.
Either way, only use that phrase when you are truly in agreement with whatever you’re going to say you are. As Escrivá says, don’t just grasp at straws hoping you’ll get it right. It won’t work that way, or at least not how you want it to.
Make sure you are truly in agreement with the arguments you point out. Also, humbly accept your mistakes to find real common ground.
I feel (like this) when you say…
Most of the arguments we have in our lives take place with people close to us. As such, and because they are so important, these moments of misunderstanding generate a lot of discomfort and clashing emotions. Why not just come out and say it?
In an argument, it’s important to share how you feel with the other person. If something the other person is saying hurts you, you have to communicate this to be able to converse positively. Also, so the issue doesn’t get out of hand.
This statement during an argument means we’re taking responsibility and are aware of how we’re feeling. However, be careful to not place blame on others. You can express the discomfort you feel without pointing fingers.
I’m sorry if that upset you. Tell me how you feel so I can understand you better…
Another phrase that can turn an argument around. Maybe their points seem absurd to you. But if you start mocking or ridiculing, for example, you’ll do more harm than good.
On the other hand, if you try to empathize and rationalize the feelings of the person you’re arguing with, you might see where they’re coming from. That way, you can analyze the situation better and understand what’s going on, where the problem is coming from, and how to find common ground and solutions.
“Remember that every discussion has at least three points of view: yours, the other person’s and everyone else’s.”
-Napoleón Hill-
Why don’t we try to support each other?
Another useful expression in an argument is recommended by Professor Escrivá Ivars. Sometimes it’s best to prioritize the things you have in common and set differences aside. This way, the listener will think you’re an honest person who is truly looking to reach an agreement, not start a fight.
Here, you’ll be showing you have positivity and no intention of delving into issues that just separate you. This expression is very useful for turning a verbal fight into a cooperative relationship.
I’ve made mistakes and I’m very aware of it
There is no such thing as a perfect person. As the imperfect beings we are, we all make mistakes. Without a doubt, an argument is the perfect time to acknowledge our mistakes. Especially if you are partly to blame for causing the situation at hand.
To do so, it’s best to be honest and humble. There’s no doubt that the other person will be grateful. Nevertheless, it’s not easy to admit your mistakes, most of all during heated moments. However, it will be worth it.
Are you and your significant other or a certain family member constantly arguing? Do you not like to argue or do you think you could make the whole ordeal more pleasant? Dare to put these phrases into practice. But do so honestly and from the heart. With time and practice, your arguments will improve.
