5 Healthy Behaviors You Probably Are Negative
Present day society presents us with certain guidelines for our behavior. From childhood, our family, schools, and teachers tell us how we should act. We are instructed on what we should do, and what we should not do. We are told how, and how not, to treat others.
Ultimately, we learn a series of norms for being able to relate to others and be accepted in society. If we do not accept and comply with these norms, we will not be accepted. It is a simply and straightforward process.
“I was always a rebel… But on the other hand, I wanted to be loved and accepted, and not only a musician, poet, lunatic, and big mouth. But I cannot be what I am not.”
Containing certain emotions in public, controlling our reactions…these are things we have internalized in order to align ourselves with the behavior of someone who is accepted. However, what happens if all that we suppress is actually positive, instead of negative?
One of the reasons behind containing and suppressing certain emotions and behavior, like crying, is because it is considered to show weakness and vulnerability. But, what if it weren’t actually like that? What if society is wrong?
Today we will see how certain kinds of behavior that are considered negative are actually more positive than we think they are. We will learn to see these kinds of behavior from a different perspective. We may even prove that it might not be good to continue repressing them. Are you ready to discover them and change your perspective?
1. Expressing rage
Rage is much more than just feeling angry. When we feel rage, we feel like we are about to explode, if we haven’t already. Exploding like that is not socially accepted behavior, and it may reflect poorly on us if we express rage.
But, is it better to suppress it? If we do, we will end up like a pot under pressure. Sooner or later, circumstances will overflow and everything will end up exploding. We will end up not being able to control our rage, and we can end up losing control of everything.
This can be very harmful in the long run. Bottling up our rage can cause feelings like rejection, hate, and resentment to build up. We should never ignore or bottle up rage. Expressing it will help us free ourselves from that emotion. Unexpressed, it can only cause more harm and does not offer anything beneficial.
A study carried out at the University of Utrecht discovered that when people feel rage and express it, they are more capable of achieving their objectives and goals, and even grow to become much more persistent and strong people.
2. I feel lost!
Is there anyone who has never felt lost in their life at least once? In some moment of our lives, we have all felt like there is something we simply don’t know how to deal with, what to do with, or how to conduct ourselves. This is completely normal, but it is a feeling we generally don’t accept. We, as a society, fear feeling like we are lost, and this can generate great anxiety. We feel like we are losing time and losing control of everything.
However, this couldn’t be further from reality. Feeling a little lost will help us to pay more attention to what we have around us. Our senses will be more alert and we will listen to our feelings and emotions in a deeper and more effective way. We will be able to observe ourselves and our surroundings, and this will help us to find our true path.
Sometimes it is necessary to lose oneself in order to be able to find oneself.
3. Feeling ashamed for crying
Crying is something that, as we get older, we learn how to control. When we are small children, we cry over little things. When we are adults, however, it is considered an immature behavior. Therefore, we have learned how to suppress tears that, when shed in front of others, can put us in an uncomfortable situation. We are vulnerable and we end up seeming like weak and fragile people.
However, crying is very beneficial. It can relieve all the feelings that cause us pain, all of that which makes us suffer, all of that which seems never-ending and overwhelming. But isn’t it true that we usually feel better after having cried for a while? This is because crying has the power to liberate, and this is something we cannot ignore or live without.
If you have to cry, cry. Liberate all of your frustration, pain, and other emotions that you feel, and regain a feeling of internal balance.
4. Turning a deaf ear
Learning how to listen can be very difficult. In fact, many people think they are good listeners, but this is usually not a mutual feeling. It is true that listening is good, but that may not always be the case. What does this mean, exactly? If we don’t listen to certain opinions or criticisms, we may avoid feeling coerced or pressured to act one way or another.
Sometimes we worry too much about what other people think or say about us. When this happens, we lose the part of ourselves that is most genuine. Therefore, learning to listen, but also learning how to turn a deaf ear to that which, in reality, has no benefit to us, can be a positive kind of behavior and habit.
Not listening does not mean ignoring or shutting out others when with a group of people. Not listening, in this sense, simply means that we must be prudent. It means knowing our limits and knowing that we should never feel pressured by the words of others.
5. Inability to adapt
Adapting to circumstances and situations is something that is expected of us as people. However, what if, no matter how hard we try, we are not able to adapt? Maybe we feel we don’t fit into our work environment, or we feel out of place in certain social settings… if this is the case, why does it matter?! We must learn to distance ourselves from these kinds of situations and search beyond them to find where we truly feel we belong.
There is no reason we must adapt to everything. This kind of behavior will only cause us to put more emphasis on our “comfort zone“, and prevent us from exploring new possibilities and feeling more accomplished.
“Only fools adapt to life; those who are wise try to adapt life for themselves.”
-George Bernard Shaw-
Reflect on these five kinds of behavior that seem to be negative, but can actually have great positive effects. Learn how to express them as they should be, although never let them get out of control. Everything in moderation is healthy. It is also healthy and important to questions our beliefs about what is socially acceptable, and whether society might in fact be mistaken.
Images courtesy of Michael Cheval, Vladimir Kush, Nicoletta Ceccoli