4 Types of Emotional Vampires

· July 7, 2016

One of the main factors that promotes healthy personal development is our environment: having people who contribute positive emotions and good values to our lives. Unfortunately, not all the people around us offer us positive experiences, and there are usually some emotional vampires hidden among them.

You want to be with friends who make you feel good because there’s no effort or conflict involved in being with them. But it’s unavoidable, at least some point in your life, to find yourself with the opposite kind of people who tend to weaken your emotional state.

There are many reasons why emotional vampires make us feel so bad. Below, we outline the 4 types of emotional vampires and their main characteristicsThat way, you’ll be able to detect them and distance yourself so you can grow more and more each day.

“I prefer a few close friends to bad company; but they should know when to come and go.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche-


What is a relationship with an emotional vampire like?

There are two things that emotional vampires need to get what they want. The first is timein order to be able to get close to the person they want to bond with, emotional vampires need to be consistent and win their trust. And then once they start to earn their sympathy, they put the second concept into practice: closeness. They start to take advantage of the other person’s sensitivity and use it to their benefit.

There’s no way to enjoy a good quality of life when your circle of trust is invaded by an emotional vampire. They could be a friend, a family member, or even your partner. The more trust and intimacy you have with an emotional vampire, the more difficult it is to get away from them and combat the negative emotional effects that can result.

looking out the window

1. The negative personality

The “negative personality” vampire will make you feel inferior to them. They’ll present everything that has to do with you negatively, always pointing out your faults and shortcomings. A characteristic phrase they tend to say is “you don’t know how to do things well.” They also tend to oppose your personal opinions, even if they know they’re wrong.

The biggest drawback is that if you question the way they act, they’ll justify their behavior by saying that they “just want the best for you.” After being close to them for a long time,  you’ll realize that their way of expressing themselves is always based on negative criticism.

2. The victim

The “victim” is an emotional vampire who never stops complaining about every little negative thing that happens to them. Their vocabulary is built on constant, unjustified complaints and fears. Even when things are going well, they always have something negative to say. The create their own reasons to complain and play the victim.

They’re incapable of providing healthy emotional support, since they’ll always make their own lives more important and put their own problems above yours. They won’t take the time to listen to you or focus on what’s happening to you. And they’ll never offer you unconditional help when you need it.

3. The non-empathetic personality

Another type of emotional vampire is the “non-empathetic personality.” Empathy is an essential component of interpersonal intelligence, a term created by Howard Gardner which refers to the cognitive ability to understand the emotional world of the other person.

jealous woman

In their relationships, emotional vampires show that they have no empathy through their selfish actions. They don’t think about whether they’ll upset their friend. At no point do they try to put themselves in the other person’s shoes.

4. The melancholy and violent personality

As we said before, the actions and gestures of emotional vampires are based on seeing the world with the glass half empty, instead of half full. They can find the negative side of any situation, and they’re always reluctant to accept new alternatives. They tend to be difficult to convince, and their life’s motto is “life isn’t worth it.”

The term “vampire” makes this very clear. It’s not hard to be sensitive to others, but since they have no empathy, they’ll behave violently for no reason. Their everyday emotional state is based on anger, rage, and arrogance.