21 Strategies for Earning Your Child's Respect

Many parents think that their children are obligated to respect them. However, the reality is that respect is something that people must earn every day. In this article, we'll share some strategies to make this goal easier to achieve.
21 Strategies for Earning Your Child's Respect

Last update: 25 July, 2020

There’s natural impulsivity in the way children and young people talk to others. However, that doesn’t mean that they’re allowed to respond rudely and disrespectfully, especially to their parents and teachers. However, it seems that, many times, young people have little to no respect for adults. If you’re a father or mother, you should know that earning your child’s respect is possible. There are obstacles, of course, but it’s something you must do.

In fact, many individuals think that their children must respect them simply because of the fact that they’re their children. That may be true to some extent; there’s no doubt that respect is something that we should show for everyone around us. However, your child’s respect isn’t something that you should demand. In fact, it’s earned.

Earning your child’s respect

All parents expect their children to respect them at all times. However, it’s important to learn to earn that respect. But as parents, we must also earn that respect. Undoubtedly, relationships with children can be complicated at times. Nonetheless, you’re the parent and you must put the means to earn that respect instead of expecting them to do so just because it’s an obligation.

Now, we have some bad news. It turns out that respect is very difficult to regain when it’s lost. Not only that, but it’s difficult to earn in the first place if your behavior isn’t appropriate. But there’s some good news as well. Basically, it’s never too late to acknowledge your mistakes and work to gain someone’s respect again.

Father and son.

These are some of the most important strategies for earning your child’s respect:

  • Respect your children. Your children will copy what you do. If you respect them, they’ll respect you back.
  • Your relationship with them is more important than rules. Rules are important, but they can never be more important than the relationship you have with your children.
  • Set clear expectations. When expectations are unclear, there’s room for misunderstanding. Doing this will reduce the amount of conflict.
  • Be a person of integrity. Be honest when you’re talking to your children and in all your relationships, for that matter. Remember that they’re constantly learning from you.
  • Assume a leadership position. Lead by example, show the way, motivate your children, be compassionate, and be a good leader.
  • Share your values ​​and beliefs with your children. You can’t force your children to adopt your beliefs, this is something you ought to understand. However, when your children understand why you believe what you believe, they’ll recognize that you’re a person of principle.
  • Be reasonable, especially when your children aren’t. Remember that the way you behave when you’re angry is the way you’ll behave when you’re agitated as well.
  • Don’t be too critical of your children. When parents are overly critical, their children begin to avoid challenges. Thus, they may begin to shape their projects in secret, knowing that they’re not going to get anything out of their exposition except criticism.
  • Listen to your children. A fundamental part of being respectful is listening to the other person. If you listen to your children, they’ll listen to you as well. Remember that you’re their role model.
A mother talking to her child, a great way for earning your child's respect.
  • Engage your children in the process of setting rules and limits. When you involve your children in setting rules, they feel valued. Listen to their points of view and take them into account. Nonetheless, keep yourself strong, it’s okay if there are things you don’t want to negotiate with them. It’s about being flexible but also educational.
  • Be an example to follow. Your children are watching you, whether you realize it or not. Demonstrate the behavior you want to see in them and practice what you preach.
  • Recognize your children’s effort and good behavior. It’s important to recognize their efforts, even in situations where the result isn’t ideal.
  • Ask your children for opinions about things that affect them. They’ll appreciate the gesture and feel important and valued.
  • Don’t assume you understand how your children feel. Even if you think you understand what they’re going through, let them explain what’s happening to them. Don’t give them lessons about their feelings with your experience.
  • Keep calm. This is a key aspect of earning your child’s respect. Show them that you’re able to control your emotions.
  • Don’t threaten your children. This increases discussions and creates a climate in which respect doesn’t flourish. Instead of threatening them, involve them.
  • Give them options. Allowing your children to make decisions empowers them. It gives them a sense of control and ownership over their lives.
  • Show interest in what matters to your children, including their activities, friends, and tastes. You don’t necessarily need to share them, just don’t judge them.
  • Do fun things with your child. Those fun times will help you form strong bonds with them.
  • Don’t give unsolicited advice. If your child is facing a problem, don’t give them unsolicited advice unless absolutely necessary. It’s much better to help them reflect on the problem to find a solution.
  • Respect your spouse and your own parents. This is instrumental when it comes to earning your child’s respect. It’s the best example of all.

It’s not just a matter of setting an example. Respecting yourself, others, and the environment is the foundation not only of all good education but also of happy and mentally healthy growth.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.