Your Strength Is in Your Vulnerability

· January 16, 2016

I’m vulnerable, I admit it. But who isn’t? There are certain things that hurt all of us. There are aspects of our daily lives that affect us and that sometimes make us a bit more fragile. Nobody is born with an impregnable shield, the kind that stops us from spending too much time crying when life strikes us with a hard blow.

We don’t have a shield to protect us from solitude when we see the emptiness of a house now vacant where smiles once danced. Our fears are ours and it doesn’t do any good to cover them up, by hiding them like old marbles in a child’s pocket.

We all remember that failure that may have changed our lives. That path that we could not cross because they cheated us, or because we were not brave enough. There are people who still hide the scars of a difficult childhood. Or the betrayals of a family that was not there when we needed them the most. Who has not been vulnerable in some situation?

All of us have. But like they say, in vulnerability is also our strength. The kind that can give us relief and the will to get back up. To pick up our ashes and write the book of our life with them, filled with new lessons. The ones that we figured out first through our tears.


My vulnerability, my strength

We live in a society that teaches us that the strongest are the most capable. Reason is valued above feelings. Those who are able to hide their emotions to achieve their aims are taken as models. We even bring up our children with the idea that it is always better to hide their tears, for them to remain silent and deal with it instead of expressing what is taking place inside of them.

There are many children who will grow up looking for private corners where they can hide. People who will reach maturity controlling many of their emotions, trying to show false strength, false determination. Look, accept, and be quiet, feigning that nothing hurts them. That they are impenetrable.

But none of that is real. Hiding our emotions will bring us a lot of problems in the long term. We become unable to process everything in our complex inner world: fear, fury, anger, uncertainty… how can we do it if we have always been told that we have to act like none of that affects us?

There are many consequences of not knowing how to “accept” our vulnerability. The moment when an element of fear, dread, or insecurity shows up, we will only have two options: stand there paralyzed and unable to react or flee from the situation. Not accepting that we are all fragile on the inside makes us build a false shield for ourselves that sooner or later will end up being knocked down. It is necessary to accept our own vulnerability. I know that there are things that hurt me, and I accept them as such, understand them, and then try to overcome them.

Vulnerability and resilience

All of us, absolutely all of us, have that amazing capacity to overcome adversity. Difficulty. Darkness and fear. Resilience is a seed that we all house in the depths of our being; we just have to know how to make it grow when we need it.

Just remember:

  1. You don’t need to pretend to be strong. You cannot carry as many burdens with you as you think. You are not a superwoman or a superman. We all have our limits and if you are not aware of this, a day will come when you will end up falling down. Protect yourself, set limits, and be aware of how far you can go. Feel your vulnerability and protect it.
  2. It is possible that you yourself are already very aware of your vulnerability. But be careful: being vulnerable is not a permanent state. It is knowing how to recognize that we can be hurt, that there are things that causes us pain. First I must recognize it so that I can later strategically ensure that I will always continue moving forward. That I will always maintain my wholeness and overcome.
  3. Sometimes life sharpens its cruelest side and takes us down the most difficult path. Life, as you know, often tends to bring with it serious side effects. But if you develop your resilience, you will manage to protect your integrity and come out stronger. It is not a simple sentence taken from a self-help book; it is an absolute reality. A breath of hope that you will have to find inside yourself and hold onto with all your strength in order to escape that situation. You are braver that you believe, because even if it seems surprising to you, your vulnerability is also your strength.