You Weren’t There When I Needed You the Most

· September 23, 2016

You weren’t there when I needed you the most. That destroyed me and plunged me into a profound sadness. When I needed you the most, I only had solitude for company. I expected more from you, and you let me down. When I needed you the most, I sank down into sadness. Could this be the time to change that version I have of myself and of others?

There have been many times when we needed someone. Maybe because we were not feeling well, because we needed support, because we wanted a shoulder to cry on. But what happens when nobody is there during those moments? Nobody gives us the attention we require. Why is it that suddenly, nobody comes to give us that hand that we screamed for in silence?

“Much of your inexplicable sadness has but one explanation: you did not love as others needed to be loved, or they did not love you as you had hoped”

-Bernardo Stamateas-

Surely you have gone through a situation like this one at least once and if not, what great luck! But there is no worse sensation than when you need someone more than anything else, and that someone is not there for you…

When you realize that you do not exist

Woman's Heart Visible Through Body


The worst thing that can happen is for us to realize that for someone, for that person that we consider special, we do not exist. This is a very negative feeling that causes emotions of abandonment and rejection to surface.

When we realize that we do not exist for another person, this can lead to a loss of self-esteem, particularly if we had gotten used to depending on others to find our own value.

But there will come a time in your life when you will be alone. You have to understand that fact. It is as if other people have a limit in your life, they only reach a certain point. After this point, you will go on alone.

It is a difficult moment, a moment that many try to delay, but which will inevitably come. Nobody can accompany you, nobody will be with you. You will be alone, you will walk alone. Nobody will need you, nobody will call you… This will be your worst time, your sense of abandonment so strong as to seem unbearable.

Solitude is the only thing that you find when you are not looking for it.

Break away from your chains

Man Pushing Heart Through Door

Since we were little, we have gotten used to doing certain things with friends, with family… but what happens when we find ourselves alone one day? We have to learn not to depend on anybody to follow our path, to do the things that we love to do. Take this advice and always keep it in mind:

  • Love and value yourself! Because when you find yourself alone, you will realize that you really are not, you have yourself! Learn to love yourself and not to allow your self-esteem to depend on others, nor for your happiness to depend on them.
  • Become friends with solitude. Sometimes we think that solitude is not good, but this is not true. Learn to see it in another way. You will be able to learn many things, like, for example, getting to know yourself better.
  • Do not depend on anyone to be happy. Your happiness does not have to depend on anybody, as this only puts you on a roller coaster of emotions that will frustrate you and make you totally unhappy. Look for happiness in yourself and in nobody else.
  • Learn to say goodbyeSomething that they do not teach us, but it is very necessary. People will come into your life and they will also go out of it, they will hurt you, they will let you down… Saying goodbye to them is something that is difficult, but something that we must learn starting today.
  • Do not expect anything from anyone. Because sometimes our expectations are too high regarding others. Avoid being let down, do not expect anything from anyone, you will be much happier!

You do not stop being important to anyone overnight, and if so, you were never really important to them at all.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed someone who was not there? Learn from those experiences and free your mind of the thought, “when I needed you the most, you were not there.” Understand that you only need yourself. You will never miss yourself, you will always be there for yourself.

Do not look for any hand to help you. You have your own feet, hands, body, and mind. This is the only thing you need. Do not depend on anyone else, be happy! Learn to love and value yourself. You have yourself and that is more than enough.

Woman with Butterfly on Hand

Images courtesy of Berit Kruger Johnsen and Bett Spencer