What Should You Do When Love Ends?

What Should You Do When Love Ends?
Adriana Díez

Written and verified by the psychologist Adriana Díez.

Last update: 30 September, 2022

It’s hard to get used to the idea, but sometimes it’s like that. Love ends, and it seems like now relationships end more frequently, families are torn apart, and third parties get in the way. Love ends, and we feel lost. What do we do?

Is it better to wait until they leave you, or should you end the relationship yourself? Either position is not very easy. It’s always hard to leave or need to leave something that made you happy, to see how time and strength ran out and just couldn’t hold two people together who thought they were inseparable. But holding onto something just because of what it used to be is not a good idea.

Making the decision to end a relationship will always be tough. You have to evaluate the pros and cons before doing it. Has anything changed? Is there a solution? Do I want to fix it or do I no longer want to fight for my relationship? Is it because of exhaustion or lack of desire? Do I think I deserve better?

Asking and answering these questions will help you reflect, and perhaps make yourself a little more sure before making a decision that you may not be 100% on, but is right for you where you are right now.

Impulsiveness, anger, and sadness do not lead to good decisions. That’s why you have to wait and reflect. Give yourself some time and allow yourself to feel in order to choose well.

When love ends.

Can you get it back after love ends?

Well, here there are no general theories we can apply to all relationships. There will be some who find the secret formula to get love back and others who don’t — or don’t even want to try. What we can be sure of is that if you both want to and you both try, you both can get there.

In a relationship, the two of you make decisions, the two of you work, and the two of you create magic between and for both of you. When you want to get something back, and both of you work in the same direction to build something together, each of you puts your best effort in because you both want to have and know that there is still love. Yes, here, you can get your love back.

We know that love ends, but it only happens when both or one of the two stops trying and working on the relationship. If you think there is still something to fight for, do it. If you still want it, keep trying. Don’t feel guilty about having not tried hard enough.


A couple fighting.

Being in a different stage doesn’t mean that love is over

Love goes through stages, and moving to a different stage from where you started may make you think that love has ended. It’s a common mistake. After all, the honeymoon stage is amazing, but it’s not entirely real. We need to know our partner as they really are. Only then will we have the chance to truly love them, blinders off.

Love may end, and if it does, you’ll have to move on. Making the decision to end a relationship may be really hard. But the pain we feel is only temporary after a break up. In a while we’ll see everything we were missing out on by staying with someone who no longer made us happy.

Love is a long and sometimes complicated road. That’s why sometimes ending the relationship means keeping a little love between the two of you — but in a different way. Sometimes, trying too hard to keep something together that has already ended can end up breaking you. Allow yourself some time to reflect and ask yourself, do you really want to have a future with the person you’re with today?

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Barrios, A., & Pinto, B. (2008). El concepto de amor en la pareja. Ajayu Órgano de Difusión Científica del Departamento de Psicología UCBSP6(2), 21-41.
  • Cabodevilla, I. (2007). Las pérdidas y sus duelos. In Anales del sistema sanitario de Navarra (Vol. 30, pp. 163-176). Gobierno de Navarra. Departamento de Salud.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.