We Can't Forget to Love Ourselves

We Can't Forget to Love Ourselves

Last update: 11 October, 2018

We’re committed to so much nowadays and stretched so thin that we’re often exhausted at the end of the week. This is worrisome. This habit leaves us with no time to rest and relax or enjoy some much needed “me time”. Many of us have a habit of over-committing ourselves. Although we may think we’re doing the right thing by being involved in so many things, what we really need to do is put ourselves and our needs first.

It’s so easy for us to feel like we just have to go to every single meeting or we’ll miss something important. Maybe if we miss a meeting we’ll be passed for a promotion or be left out of our workplace’s social circle. What we need to do when we start feeling this way is to reflect on why we feel bad about this. If we attend every single meeting we’re invited to, that may indicate a lack of assertiveness on our part. It may be that we have a hard time saying no to things. We shouldn’t feel bad for saying no to things when necessary. Other reasons we could feel guilty for denying a meeting is because we feel the need to please others or because we don’t want to be alone with ourselves.

Social commitment and stress

Several studies warn that the number of social gatherings we attend today far exceed the amount our parents attended. Instead of taking advantage of leisure time and rest to disconnect from weekly stress, we’re actually adding a disturbing amount of stress to our lives. This is happening simply due to a lack of knowledge or the desire to conform to a group.

The quality of a person’s life is directly related to their commitment to themselves, regardless of where they work or how much money they make.

A stressed woman.

Making ourselves a priority

Who are we trying to please with all of these social responsibilities? Is it ourselves or is it others? Answering this question with total honesty can save us from a lot of stress and discomfort.

Commit to doing things that make you happy. Use your free time to your benefit.

Sometimes, you have to prioritize your life and simply say no. We can’t fulfill everybody’s expectations. If we only try to make everybody else happy, how can we be happy with ourselves? It’s not about isolating ourselves and moving away from our circle of friends. Rather, it’s about maintaining healthy bonds while also leaving space for ourselves.

Our greatest commitment is the one we make with ourselves.

Leisure syndrome

We need leisure to live a happy life and to reduce stress. Our brains need to disconnect for a certain number of hours and stop working so hard. Therefore, leisure activities are a good alternative to rest and have fun. However, leisure can also become a source of stress, insecurity, obligation, and commitment.

Woman resting representing loving ourselves.

Dutch psychologist Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University, decided to analyze one of his personal problems. He was never sick, except on weekends. To conduct his research, he started to ask if other people experienced the same thing. He discovered that he wasn’t the only one who experienced this. Other people also became sick during the summer, Christmas, or on Fridays.

On the other hand, psychologist Maria Jesus Gonzalez, states that we’re not dealing with an actual disease. She says that the medical field hasn’t described the problem very well and there’s no specific treatment plan. However, today we know that stress affects the immune system. This leisure syndrome is just another way of talking about anxiety.

To enjoy our leisure and free time, we have to be realistic with ourselves and with the activities we can do. We must have a reasonable schedule and not accumulate activities without a plan. It’s important that we don’t forget how important those moments of rest and just doing nothing are. Commit yourself to yourself!

Changing habits can be far from relaxing. It can actually cause anxiety.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.