The Wonderful Experience of Growing Old Together

· April 22, 2019
Building a life and growing old together requires a loving couple, and both need to compromise and make an effort to work on bettering and maintaining the relationship.

Mature love is something you cultivate, learn, and experience every day. Growing old together can make you a better person and can help you learn from your experiences, develop strong bonds, and accept your weaknesses.

Growing old together and embracing mature love can be a way to know yourself and be empathetic to one another. When that happens, it can improve your social skills and make a more affectional and social person.

Surely you know those who’ve had the joy of growing old together. Talk to them, ask them the secret for staying together for so long and they’ll tell you about complicity, mutual care, and love. Building a life and growing old together requires a loving couple, and both need to compromise and make an effort.

“Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but moving, growing, working together; even when there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves.”

-Erich Fromm-

couple growing old together

Growing old together means…

A relationship has its ups and downs, but it can have joy as well. It’s a path that can only be traveled if both agree to do so.

Time doesn’t only changes your body or looks, but also your feelings evolve. This means accepting others just as they are. Any couple that’s been together for years knows that the way they show their love to each other has changed since the beginning of their relationship.

A couple develops their relationship under certain circumstances that change their lives together. Their children are adults now, the couple is old enough for retirement at work, and organizing the household is easier and more practical now.

Now is when there’s a reunion of sorts because this couple has more time to be together. This can be a chance to enjoy themselves as a couple and rejoice in their common interests.

Erich Fromm, a psychologist and humanist, says in his book The Art of Loving that mature love is loving because you need to, is needing it because you love it.

a couple growing old together

Mature love and five keys to living it

Allow freedom for all

Mature love is a true commitment. It’s about understanding, being willing to work for the couple’s greater good, and looking for the balance in giving and receiving. Established couples are made by independent individuals. A couple in a relationship needs to complement their partner, not be dependent or possessive.

Cherish every moment

The little things are what makes a relationship. Routine and boredom kill connections. Sharing common interests and activities and letting each other develop their own persona as well are key aspects in growing old together.

Be supportive and stable

A partnership is essential when starting life with someone else. With mature couples, this is even more important. This is the time to show what you can do for the relationship.

Accept them just as they are

A couple that loves each other knows that growing old together means mutual commitment and understanding. They might disagree to some degree about anything, they might have different opinions about something, but they see these differences as a way to nurture a healthy relationship.

a couple holding hands

Respect and communication

A good couple’s communication means to be respectful and to value their conversations. It’s about being free to express yourself and not be resentful to one another.

In short, you must agree that mature love means commitment. Growing old together implies to really enjoy each other’s company. You are friends, lover, partners in crime. You’ve probably overcome hardships, and maybe there might be some more, but overall, a relationship built on a strong basis can have an indestructible bond.

Parker, R. (2002). Why marriages last. Australian Institute of Family Studies.