Sometimes to Stay Is to Go Too Far

· February 4, 2016

There are moments when we find ourselves wanting to stay, when we would give anything to have a reason to, but we have no other option but to leave.

Goodbyes are strong words. Asking ourselves if we’ve arrived at a point of no return gives us a lot of anxiety, and we’ve gotten tired of saying goodbye, so we put ellipses where a period should be, even though it hurts us to do so.

It’s a question of emotional health. Somehow, if we want everything to stay the same, we should let everything change. Saying goodbye rattles our souls, but it’s the only way to close the window of pain and disappointment.

“And one day, when you didn’t expect it, I left.
Without a goodbye, without warning, without reproach
Because sometimes to stay is to go too far.”
-La Luz de Candela-

painting

Sometimes in life you have to choose, other times life chooses for you

Now I’m going.
I’ll be going any time now.
I think you’ll notice, I think you’ll ask what went wrong.
I didn’t choose this, but I don’t have the strength to fight.
I made my decision a long time ago. I made my decision last night.


When a snake sheds its skin, it must travel between two nearby stones that squeeze it, scratch it, and help it to remove its skin. This will cause it a lot of pain, but it will also help it to get rid of the old to make room for the new.

It’s the end of one process and the beginning of another. And on this journey, we suffer. But if we resist it, the anxiety will increase, because we’re holding onto something that holds us back. We keep what we don’t need, and we don’t make room for something new to come along.

It’s normal that we resist taking that step, but it’s clear that when we dare to say goodbye, when we start to build healthy and positive relationships, we stop feeling that emotional emptiness that eats away at us on the inside, and we start to truly value the people that deserve to be in our lives.

couch heart

Letting go is letting yourself arrive

“It’s always necessary to know when a period of your life has ended. If you insist on remaining in it for longer than necessary, you’ll lose your sense of happiness and rest. Closing circles, or closing doors, or closing chapters, whatever you want to call it.

What’s important is that you can close them, and let go of moments in your life that are ending.

We can’t be in the present if we long for the past. Not even if we wonder why. Whatever happened, happened, and you have to let go, you have to break away. We can’t be eternal children, or belated teens, or nonexistent employees. We can’t have ties with people who don’t want to be tied to us.

These things happen and you have to let them go!”

Paulo Coelho

Imagine that you’ve shrunk the chains that hold you down to the size of a balloon. And then you let go; you watch while they float towards the sky and go out of sight, smiling and feeling a great inner peace.

It’s likely that, upon saying goodbye, something inside of you broke, but this is the only way to welcome new things into your life, things that are really worthwhile.

Because if you’re brave enough to say goodbye, you’ll realize that a weight will be removed from your shoulders. Maybe it’s because you’ve allowed yourself to reach your ideal temperature, instead of that intense cold or that burning heat that you were living in before.