Solitude May Not Seem Interesting At 20, But Later, It Becomes Necessary

April 3, 2017 in Psychology 0 Shared
Person Holding Coffee Cup

Over the years, solitude takes on another meaning. Why is this? Because as we continue gaining experiences, we arrive at that moment where solitude becomes synonymous with personal, intimate, and emotional space.

And yes, solitude is addictive. Once you discover the peace that is to be found in it, you will end up needing it to cover you like a blanket from time to time. You can’t stand the noise of others anymore with the same calm and you start liking the chance to get to know yourself in your own world.

With the passage of time, you start relating to solitude without fear, enjoying time with yourself, contemplating and recovering a balance that is very difficult to obtain in youth. At 20, society does not let you consider solitude as something positive in the same way that it does after 30, when your experiences make you crash into the need to stop and reserve your energy for yourself.

“Solitude is our most private property
old rite of juggling flames
in it we move and build walls
with mirrors that we forever flee from.”

-Mario Benedetti-

 Sunflowers

What could solitude have that makes us feel free?

Solitude is so attractive because it helps us maintain a bit of our soul for ourselves. Through it, we can listen to ourselves, manage our worries, observe our demons, and manifest our desires. Our time spent alone turns into a point of encounter that fills us and does not harm us.

But… be careful!! We must not confuse chosen solitude with social isolation. We have to understand it as a place we go to of our own volition and with a need to build our personality through total observation.

When a person chooses to be alone, they are not isolated. What’s more, chosen solitude helps us develop a sensation of control that an accelerated and busy adult life does not allow us to cultivate.

In their time alone, a person is responsible for constructing their image in the mirror and knowing what is happening behind their expression. We can connect with our capacity for introspection and analyze the causes and effects of our conflicts, our achievements, and our experiences.

Girl on Ladder with Balloon

Solitude gives us moments of delicious intimacy

Through the intimate encounter with oneself, we say goodbye to emotional dependency and insane attachments. We work on our essence by needing ourselves, we cultivate and work on our inner self, becoming aware of our needs and overcoming our fears.

In this way, the fear of not finding the meaning of life is reduced, because when a person starts appreciating their moments of solitude, they understand that the meaning of life is the one they want to give it. Nothing more, nothing less.

People who like to spend time alone see things in a different way. They know what it is like to enjoy a day without plans, looking for time to spend time on their own, being independent, looking at a solitary coffee as one of the best pleasures in life.

Sleeping with a Book

This helps strengthen our powers of decision and analysis. What’s more, the need to be alone and an appreciation for this are two facets related to creativity and originality. This becomes one of the small, subtle details that make the difference.

We discover ourselves through the moments that we are in contact with our deepest self. That is what makes solitude a synonym for personal and intimate space. That is what often pushes us to find and gather reasons to keep growing.

Solitude is always useful to gather ourselves, to return into ourselves, and to spread our reflections to every part of our lives that we have neglected. The essential part of this emotional state teaches us to share our way of being with ourselves, to keep ground for ourselves, and to fertilize it so that we can work intensively on what keeps us going: our love for ourselves.

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