Self-Esteem Is Not Selfishness, Arrogance or Superiority

January 10, 2017

Self esteem is not selfishness or arrogance or superiority or pride. Self-esteem is loving oneself by a healthy reflection in our psychological mirror; a protected image with a strong foundation.

There are people who project themselves with arrogance by highlighting their strengths and striving to hide vulnerability. They appear to be perfect and claim to not commit errors or mistakes.

These people lack self awareness and show some distrust towards themselves by hiding their true image behind a mask that yearns to be perfect, but it is impossible.

girl grabbing a heart hanging from a tree

The difference between self-centeredness and self-esteem

The ego is the basis of our personal identity and, therefore, both our self-esteem and self-centeredness. We could simply differentiate these two concepts in this way: self-esteem is a healthy and tolerant love and egocentrism is an empty, mindless, excessive and intolerant love.

There is a story that illustrates well how self-esteem is expressed and how it is not. Let us take a look at it below:

I walked with my father when he stopped at a corner and after a short silence he asked me:

-Besides the birds singing, do you hear anything else?

I sharpened my ears and a few seconds later I answered:

-I’m hearing the noise of a cart.

-That’s it-said my father. It is an empty cart.

-How do you know it’s an empty cart, if we don’t see it yet? – I asked my father.

-It’s very easy to know when a cart is empty because of the noise. The emptier the cart, the greater the noise it makes-he answered.

woman bending in front of a raven

I became an adult and even today when I see a person talking too much, interrupting the conversation of everyone being intrusive or violent, showing off what they have, appearing to be arrogant and putting people down, I have the impression of hearing the voice of my father saying:

“The emptier the cart is, the louder the noise it makes”

Humility consists of silencing our virtues and allowing others to discover them. No one is more empty than one who is full Arrogance, pretension and self-centeredness make a lot of noise, not a healthy image of oneself (self-esteem).

You’re neither better nor less than anyone

The dividing line between ego and self-esteem is very thin. We are not better or worse than others, we are simply different. Understanding diversity is undoubtedly the base or pillar of a healthy self-esteem that promotes positive attitudes toward oneself and others.

A healthy self-image has the advantage that when we achieve something, we do not take pride to the point of believing ourselves to be omnipotent. We do not fall into the clutches of self-centeredness and negative or excessive love by our ego.

woman in a butterfly curtain

A person who loves their personality in a healthy and not excessive way does not make their feelings, thoughts and opinions the spotlight for themselves or other people. While self-esteem promotes equality of thoughts, feelings and behaviors, self-centeredness is believing to be superior in importance and reason.

So, somehow when we behave in an arrogant or self-centered way, what we want is to give more value to what we think or believe by minimizing what others think or feel.

In short, one should not confuse egocentrism with high certainty in oneself. In the first, a person tends to believe they are better in all aspects and to behave arrogantly. Being secure in ourselves helps us act with knowledge of our capabilities and limitations.

girl drawing a heart

Besides, by loving ourselves it is much easier to love others. However, it is difficult sometimes to not let ourselves get carried away by our excessive ego and make the mistake of being arrogant by wanting to assert our opinions or feelings.

Therefore, it is ideal to analyze ourselves and take precautions because the line between both areas is very fine and falling into the mistake of trying to impose our desires over those of others is extremely easy.

 Self-Esteem Is The Dance of Self-Love

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