As Parents, We Are There to Help Our Children
As parents, we have a very important task, the task of helping our children. This is something that we probably do not think about when we do it. We do not know the great amount of work that awaits us.
It is not only taking care of them, feeding them, making them happy…As parents, we have to be there, support them, make them into people who know how to deal with such a hard world that we live in today. A world that will put obstacles in their path, a world that will pull them down as they fight to get back up.
“Children learn little from words; only your actions and their coherence with your words will do.”
-Joan Manuel Serrat-
But what are we doing wrong with them? Because, even if it is hard to recognize, when it comes time to educate them, we do countless things that are not good, but we believe them to be. Let’s see what they are!
We parents have to be there
Our main commitment as parents is to be there for our children, unconditionally, with love that overcomes absolutely everything.
However, put yourself in your child’s shoes, because at some point, you were in those shoes yourself. What was your childhood like? Did you have good parents? Was there something lacking? Do not make the same mistakes. It is time for you to know what you are there for as a parent:
As parents, we are there to give our children permission to live: because many children are born into families where the parents cheat on one another or where violence is king. Your child must know that he or she has the right to have, to live, to do.
As parents, we are there to pass on ideals to our children: we must inspire them so that when they become young adults, they know what to expect, where to turn, who they are. Encourage this by saying things like, “I know that you are going to do great things,” “I expect great things from you.”
As parents, we are there to impart life to our children: because sometimes we pressure them with a range of extracurricular activities and they have to enjoy, they have to live!
As parents, we are there to provide unconditional love to our children: a love that cannot be compared with any other, a love that overcomes any physical barrier, any mental barrier. Whatever they do, your love for them should not change.
“What is done to children, they will do to society.”
-Karl A. Menninger-
Now that you know why you as a parent are there, it is time to put everything that you have learned into practice, but there is something more important that you must know, something that we constantly fail at…
Let’s stop promoting the negative
It is very hard to see it as parents, which is why we are going to put it into perspective from when we were kids. You remember the amount of punishment you got as a kid, right? Did you ever hear “you’re behaving like a child”?
During our childhood, we suffered punishment and constant scolding. Many times, these were a given due to our childish behavior. But…weren’t we ever children? When could we behave like them? When we were older?
From childhood on, we are always taught to be older, they do not let us enjoy being children! We always have to behave, learn to be older, but… is that the right path?
We believe that with these indications, we are doing good, when really it is bad. Instead of motivating, we are discouraging, making our children feel bad. Bad about themselves and about us for not knowing how to behave the way they should.
They are children, children! They are learning, and what’s more, we are still learning at 20, 30, 40 years old. What can we expect from them?
Let them live, behave like children, let them make mistakes, because you too make mistakes and mess things up. But above all else, stop focusing on everything they do wrong and start influencing what they do right.
For example, instead of taking note of the mistakes they made painting or the fact that they drew on the table, just show them that next time, they should use a tablecloth or something else to protect the furniture.
They do not know what could happen and even if you say it, they are probably going to forget! But do not influence the negative, reorient yourself towards positive teaching.
“A parent’s job is to motivate, to encourage their children to discover their own path, because they discover it, they will never leave it”
What mistakes have you made with your children? The most important thing that you have to keep in mind is that you must always be there for them, as well as having to encourage the positive and stop repeating the negative. Ready to be good parents?
Images courtesy of Pascal Campion and Claudia Tremblay