Nobody Knows What They Are Until They Discover What They Can Do

· November 30, 2016

When you finally discover what lies past the frontiers of fear, past the “you can’t do it” or “you don’t know” that we all feel, nothing can stop you. Because the adventure of being yourself in a world that strives everyday to not let you achieve it, that’s without a doubt the greatest achievement.

If you think about it, you’ll realize that we live in a society that runs on labels. It is a harmful mechanism used to classify people, limit them and turn them away from their own essence. Their own identity. The worst part about this is that this is something we experience every day in schools, work environments and even our family circles.

It is better to be yourself than a bad copy of someone else.

We must free ourselves of the “scabs” of these labels and the attributions that others have created for us. In order to discover what we are, to touch the greatness that lies within, we have to dare. We have to knock down the walls of fear and indecision.

Because the happiness of being oneself doesn’t appear by itself. It is a constant struggle. A path you create constantly, advancing past the line of fear a little more every day.

woman-dancing

When you discover that you have the power to decide

“In order to be happy, you have to make decisions.” Surely you have heard this phrase more than once, but do we really put it into practice? In order to better understand this aspect, let’s remember a moment from the novel Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll. We’re sure that it will urge you to reflect.

At a certain point, Alice asks the Chesire Cat the following question. “Could you tell me, please, which path I should take to get out of here?” To which the cat responds: “That depends on where you want to go.” “The truth is, it doesn’t matter much,” replies Alice. To which the cat responds, “Then it doesn’t matter much which path you take.”


What lesson does this teach us?

In order to be ourselves, we need to be consistent with the decisions we make. Because in a world of unlimited possibilities, you have to be clear on your priorities. If you aren’t, you will most likely get lost.

alice-in-wonderland-dark

In order to achieve this, it’s worthwhile to put the following mechanisms into practice:

  • The expectations others have of us usually determine the paths we decide to take. They take over bits of our lives, until they leave us without a voice or a vote. Don’t allow it, discover what your priorities are and fight for them. You can and should decide for yourself.
  • Saying “No” to others when we think it is necessary is not an act of selfishness. It is an act of self-respect. He who discovers the value of saying “no” becomes free of incredible weight.
  • If you do not yet know which is your path in life, tend to your values (yours and no one else’s) and listen to your heart (yours and no one else’s). The words that they reveal will be the compass on the personal maps of your day to day life.

Everything you are capable of

We spend a great deal of our lives surrounded by judgments of value. Those that let us “free fall” into our jobs, our circles of friendship and even, why not, our relationships. We also cannot forget our family circles. Fathers and mothers that label their children and program their futures according to certain judgments of value, which are not always accurate.

“It’s never too soon nor too late for one to take care of their own soul.”
-Epicurus-

Later on we enter a complex educative world where we are judged on our grades and performance, but never on that inner world that goes beyond those established structures. Those that tell us what we should do, according to what is expected from us. Because if you got a “C” in math, don’t even think about being an engineer.

woman-with-her-bike

Many of us grow up giving a great deal of importance to the opinions of others. Therefore, we slowly create defensive barriers and a comfort zone in which to settle. We do this in order to follow the parameters that others have created for us.

Carl R. Rogers, celebrated humanistic psychologist, indicated that there is nothing more frustrating then trying to be what others expect, ceasing to be what you want. It is this vital incongruity that sickens us and shuts us down. Thus, it’s worth it to think for a moment about the following ideas.

Nobody discovers what they are until they notice everything. But, for this, you need to create your own opportunities. Dare to change scenarios, test yourself and discover how far you can go.

Josh Billing was a well-know comedian and writer of the 19th century who used to recommend the following: “Be like a seal. Stick yourself to something and don’t stop until you reach your destination.”

This is what we should do ourselves. So don’t forget to turn on the light of your self-esteem, explore every corner of your soul in order to remember your dreams and, above all, pay more attention to your needs.