More Frequent Sex is Good for Your Relationship

Sexual relations are a fundamental aspect for the intimacy of couples. More than for the enjoyment of pleasure, for the benefits it can bring for the couple.
More Frequent Sex is Good for Your Relationship
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Written and verified by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 22 March, 2024

Couples who have more sex foster affection and fidelity. Some studies show that frequent sex leads to more stable relationships. Chemistry explains one of the reasons for this phenomenon. 

Studies show that frequent sex brings couples together in a purely chemical way. Couples feel closer to each other because of the oxytocin that our brains release during arousal and orgasm. One study from the University of Bonn in Germany showed that this hormone stimulates contact between romantic partners. Sex helps keep oxytocin levels high, which enhances the emotional relationship and strengthens the bonds that encourage monogamy. 

It makes sense, then, that we call oxytocin the love and attachment hormone. Sexologist Joserra Landarroitajauregi believes that “Evolution has introduced this substance where bonds are important – during labor and breastfeeding, which strengthens the mother-child relationship, and in erotic pleasure, fostering a connection between lovers.”

“If sex weren’t the most important thing in life, Genesis wouldn’t start there.” [translation]

Cesare Pavese-

Is love better with frequent sex?

According to several surveys from different Western countries, the average couple has sex two or three times a week. The more frequent and satisfying the sex, the stronger the emotional bond and the  commitment to stay together.

Experts believe that sex has three primary functions in romantic relationships: erotic, reproductive, and communicative. That doesn’t mean that love is better with frequent sex. It means that sexual intimacy increases attachment and love. Sex doesn’t just produce pleasure. It also mobilizes feelings and emotions of desire for the closeness and intimacy with your significant other.

“Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge, as indispensible as poetry.”

-Anais Nin-

If love is only based on passion, the relationship has an expiration date

We’ve talked about the benefits of frequent and satisfying sex. It helps to strengthen the emotional bond and the commitment to stay together in stable couples. However, sex and passion alone aren’t enough to determine the success of a couple.

Sex is one of the fundamental pillars of a relationship, but it isn’t everything. Mutual admiration is also necessary. Admiration is a central element to all human relationships on any level. However, in a romantic relationship, it is one of the most important aspects of a functioning relationship.

A healthy, stimulating, gratifying, and pleasurable relationship requires a significant dose of mutual admiration. This feeling, along with intimacy, helps create a unique and authentic bond. This bond satisfies desires and needs that other relationships cannot.

The other basic pillar of romantic relationships is dialogue and communication. Good dialogue with your partner requires respect. You have to practice active listening. You have to also avoid personal criticism and complaints. The value that should guide the dialogue is honesty. Be honest with yourself, and with your partner.

In addition, it is crucial to place the good of the relationship above personal interests. However, you have to do that without sacrificing your identity. Sexual relations should be frequent and satisfactory. In the same way, communication and dialogue should follow the same parameters. When you combine the two, you have a recipe for a healthy relationship.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.