Love for Introverted People

· February 8, 2017

The brains of introverted people work in a different way. This is why their loving relationships tend to be more delicate: with much fewer words, but with very sincere and profound “I love yous”. They are personalities capable of connecting with their loved ones in a much more intense, almost magical way.

Without any fear of being mistaken, we could say that an introverted personality is much better understood nowadays. Thanks to a wide range of studies and book published on the topic, like “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain, we already know such important aspects as the fact that the introvert is not shy, that they are selective, observant, sensitive, and even good leaders in work environments.

“The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness.”

-Susan Cain-

With that being said, when we refer to love, it is common for introverted people to face difficulties characteristic of this facet of their personality. Adolescence or the prime of their youth can lead them to think that they are no competition for the brilliance and blinding spark of extroverts. For a while, they live in those silent corners of the back rows, where they can watch the world calmly and discreetly.

An introverted adolescent tends to love secretly. They do not dare to take a further step into a context that, to the naked eye, seems to be made for the brave, for the lovers of noise, and the groups of extensive friends where everyone talks and nobody listens.

However, little by little, the introvert “wakes up” and realizes all of the things he has going for him…

Heads Hugging

When the need for solitude turns into a problem

They say that simplicity consists in setting aside the obvious to be left with the significant. This idea, this focus, is what doubtlessly characterizes introverts. They do not like tricks, just talking to talk, drawing attention, or investing time and energy into things that are not in line with their genuine essence, with their soul, with their personality.


This may be why it is not exactly easy for them to initiate things like flirting, going to parties to socialize, or starting a conversation with the person they are attracted to if they are in a broader group of people. We cannot forget that introverts suffer from greater neuronal exhaustion when it comes time to communicate and socialize. As such, they need long periods of solitude “to recharge their batteries.”

Carl Gustav Jung also tackled the issue of introversion with great interests. For him, introverted people focus all of their attention into the center of subjective and psychologist processes, so they tend to distance themselves from the whispers of daily life to breathe the necessary oxygen of solitude.

That being said, these characteristics in mind… how can they ever find a partner?

Girls Holding Hands

Introverted people and love

Today, there is a process that has been set in motion known as the “Quiet Revolution.” This focus works towards various ends. On the one hand, to break down false ideas: introversion and extroversion are not static categories. They are two extremes of a continuum, where each one tends to demonstrate different degrees.

“We forget that no one is ever as active as when he isn’t doing anything, that he is never in such good company as when he is alone with himself.”

-Cato-

The introvert doesn’t hate socializing, nor does he lack social skills. Quite the contrary. We are talking about someone who has conquered his own freedom. In a hyperactive society that forces us to be dependent on outside sources for the amount of information that they make available to us, the introvert has found refuge in himself to be more creative, sensitive, original, analytical, and great at managing his emotions.

Sometimes there is no need to go to a party to find a partner. This personality profile knows what contexts to move in and how to connect with others. They are short-distance seducers, masters of face-to-face conversations, of moments of simple and magical intimacy.

Woman Butterfly on Chest

Characteristics of an introverted partner

Another myth that we have to put aside is that introverts only make a good partner for those who have the same personality themselves. This is not the case. Introverts and extroverts also make excellent couples by enriching one another.

Now let us look at the traits that tend to define them:

  • An introverted person enjoys sharing moments of solitude with their partner. They focus all of their energy and attention on that person. Additionally, they are magical architects when it comes to connecting with our deepest emotions, building a firm and genuine compromise.
  • On the other hand, and this is important, the introverted personality knows how to give their loved one space. They do this because they too need those moments alone to process their surroundings, to enjoy themselves.
  • Something that we must also understand is that we must never force an introvert to be or do something that does not fit them. They are resistant to changing their habits, to going against their values, essences, or customs. They do not understand tricks, nor will they “socialize more” just because their partner asks them to.
  • Being quiet does not mean that they are thinking “something bad.” This is a very common belief. Having an introverted partner sometimes means lots of silent moments. When they act this way, it doesn’t mean they are bored, that they don’t know what to say, or that they are uncomfortable.

 We must not bombard them with the classic question, “What are you thinking?”

Because if there is one thing that introverts appreciate, it is sharing those silent moments with someone. It is permission to be oneself without pressure, it is delighting in that genuine simplicity, tying their own inner world with that of their loved one in simple intimacy.

Could there be anything better?

Images courtesy of Eveline Tarunadjaja