Three Little Secrets to Help Improve Your Child's Life (And Yours)

Three Little Secrets to Help Improve Your Child's Life (And Yours)
Mariana Luque Santoro

Written and verified by the psychologist Mariana Luque Santoro.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

When you’re in charge of raising a child, you’re often overwhelmed by the great challenges you have to face on a daily basis. In fact, bringing up a child can be really difficult at times. Nevertheless, although it’s a complex task, the smallest of efforts on your part can make a big difference to your child’s development. Read on to discover three little secrets that’ll improve both their life and yours.

Three extremely powerful tools to improve your child’s life


A young child, unlike an adult, can’t clearly differentiate between days and hours. Therefore, they need some kind of order to help them meet their needs and adapt to the world. As a matter of fact, they require external help to structure and order their lives. 

Routines provide them with security since they create a known and stable environment, on which they can rely. This helps reduce any feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. Routines also give them an opportunity to learn, be stimulated, and help them to be autonomous. On the contrary, when they lack a structure, they tend to encounter difficulties in assuming their responsibilities. This causes behavioral problems.

A happy child.

Rules and boundaries

Despite the terrible tantrums they might have when it comes to you telling them “NO” or establishing what’s not allowed, rules are a fundamental part of the upbringing and development of your child. Nevertheless, you might underestimate their power at times. However, rules make your child feel protected. That’s because, if the hierarchy of power is lost, and a child feels stronger than their parents, they’ll perceive that mom and dad won’t be able to take care of them in the face of any problems.

Rules also make your child feel valued and let them know that you care. Furthermore, learning to tolerate frustration will help them regulate their anxiety and aggressiveness. These boundaries must be established with firmness and affection, always proportional to your child’s actions and according to their abilities. Finally, remember, that it’s as negative to set boundaries that are too strict as it is to not set any.

Quality Time

Your busy schedule can reduce the number of interactions you have with your child. Nonetheless, they need these to satisfy their biological and school needs. However, if you have trouble disciplining them, their misbehavior can often overwhelm you, and you forget the joys of parenting. Because a fundamental part of parenting is the daily time that you share and enjoy with your child, without distractions and in activities that interest them. This makes them feel loved and valued.

You must be really attentive to the needs of your child and learn to give them the answers they need, without transmitting your own fears or desires to them. Learn to satisfy their need to explore by letting them experiment on their own when they want to. In the same way, support them and comfort them when they seek you out because they’re feeling anxious. This satisfies their need for attachment.

Playing with them will improve your childs life.

How to put these ideas into practice

Establish routines

To do this, you need to create time for each activity, by establishing a fixed schedule that suits your child’s timetable (breakfast, homework, bath, etc.). In addition, you must carry each activity out in a certain place. You should teach them what’s to be done in each location, and ensure that they keep the area tidy and clean. Finally, it’s important that these activities are always done in the same way with a well-defined beginning and end.

Set boundaries and rules properly

Your child needs to know what the rules are, as well as the consequences of their compliance or non-compliance. Therefore, establish fair rules and ensure they comply with them all the time. Only applying them occasionally would be a huge mistake. Don’t forget that rewards and reinforcements have a better effect than punishments.

Teach them to tolerate frustration

Don’t give in to any irrational demands or tantrums. Educate your child to respect others and their opinions. Teach them to achieve things that require effort, allow them to make mistakes, and don’t give them a solution to every problem they encounter.

Enjoy quality time together

Depending on how much time you have, always reserve some time in your day to enjoy with your child. Play with them and show them your affection, without any other demands on your time. In fact, simply enjoy the happiness of having them in your life.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.