Life's Challenges Can Turn Your Love Into an Extraordinary Union

We love romantic movies. However, we sometimes find a pretty big problem with them: they end when the relationship has only just begun. After all, the routine and challenges most couples experience don’t make for a good movie.

This kind of reality, which is actually the most real, is the “ugly stepsister” of passion. However, these challenges determine if a relationship will transform into an extraordinary union. 

Dreaming of having a perfect, movie-worthy love story that never changes is like giving a child a handful of wet sand without showing her the sea. She doesn’t understand its changing, turbulent, dangerous and exciting nature.

The challenges of fate that can either destroy or strengthen a couple

As you experience life together as couple, it’s impossible to keep all of the variables of your environment under control. Therefore, it’s necessary for couples to develop channels of communication that help make problems shared problems. This way, resolving them can help unite you even more.

Some of the emotional, life-changing challenges couples face include:

• Financial crisis: The Spanish Professional Sexologist Association detected a 20-30% increase in the number of requests for couples’ therapy in 2012. This is something largely attributed to the country’s economic crisis. The solution is to not only improve the economic situation. Instead, it is to understand why many of the emotional ties had weakened in an unfavorable economic situation.
• Infidelity: An article in the New York Times inspired by the work of sexologist Tammy Nelson described how many of the established norms regarding sex and sexual relations are changing. In some cases, adultery can positively influence a relationship. This is because it opens the door to honesty and openly speaking about the sexual interests and passions of each member without prejudice. It’s not infidelity that separates couples It’s the unhappiness in couples that are unable to cope with it.

Life’s trials

Other challenges include:

• Illness or death of a child: When the reason for a child’s death is a degenerative illness and the child’s life has gradually faded, parents are usually able to adapt to the stress this event involves. However, this is not the case when the death happens by accident. During this process, the relationship can be effected because the illusion and vital family project have been damaged. This situation can lead to imbalances between parents.

Clinical psychologist Susana de Cryulles, coordinator of the program for parents at the Univeristario Principe de Austurias Hospital (Spain), has some advice. She says that it’s important for parents to go through this process together. They should do this much in the same way that they agree on the family or children’s education, for example.

• Infertility. Couples who suffer from infertility while dreaming of being parents are also forced to reconsider and cope with a life without children. The initial disappointment can open new doors of mutual understanding or, ultimately, adoption.
• Disease. The results of a study led by Ameria Karraker at the University of Iowa, published an interesting article in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior. The article concluded that in marriages where the women (not men) are diagnosed with a serious illness, there is a 6% greater likelihood of separation when compared to healthy marriages. This may be due to a greater imbalance in the behavioral patterns of couples. Even today, many still assume that women have to adopt the role of caregiver in a couple.

When pain doesn’t separate, but strengthens couples

Couples will go through many stages, but it will often be life’s hard blows that determine the type of love they feel. The difficulties themselves may even determine whether the love is infatuation or a strong bond. The movie “The Painted Veil,” a movie that was not meant to be romantic, can help to better understand this.

After all, love in a couple is much more exciting when you overcome difficulties together. In life, it’s rare that we don’t face challenges. Life isn’t just about our mental representations of it. Obstacles and tragedies must be overcome with a desire to be united.

Overall, there are situations that – far from breaking the union of two people who love each other – actually transform their relationship into something truly extraordinary.