Life Is Full of Coincidence

Life Is Full of Coincidence
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

Our society is mainly founded upon values such as materialism, logic and objectivity. It’s as if somehow we wish to keep every aspect of our lives under control in order to obtain the maximum benefit out of each moment.

Now, in reality, everyday life is usually not governed by these concepts. Human beings should also adapt to the unpredictable, to the fact that you don’t always get what you want, to the fact that we can’t control our peers.

Humans tend to fear the unpredictable, what can’t be controlled. We’re afraid of the feeling of emptiness and even our own freedom. It’s as if deep down we are scared of ourselves.

Many people don’t believe in coincidence. It suggests a loss of control. It would mean that randomness and chaos govern the everyday.

Nevertheless, you don’t have to go to such extremes. It’s about having an open mind, being flexible and understanding that there are many things that escape our control. And that loss of control can generate anxiety or fear for many people. 

Sometimes, blinded by our own egocentrism, we tend to ask ourselves “Why do these things happen to me?” We lament and victimize ourselves instead of focusing on things in a different way.

Instead of lamenting that something happened, ask yourself why you think it happened to you. Obtain some kind of lesson and reflection from what happened.

Accepting chaos, coincidence and the unpredictable

alone in the woods

It’s not easy to accept the unpredictable things that arise and break the balance we worked so hard to obtain. You work hard, for example, on being the best you can be at work, but suddenly, the company goes bankrupt and your stability comes crashing down.

Asking yourself why negative things happen to you is sometimes a form of lament thrown against the wind: it only exacerbates your desperation. Instead, focus on what you can do to change course of your existence in some way.

Whatever happens to us, be it good or bad may be the result of coincidence. We don’t know, but what should take each event as an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.

We’re sure that you know more than one person that lives an existence where their main obsession is controlling every aspect of their lives. And not just their life, but also everyone else’s.

These are individuals with high self-demand that don’t allow themselves to make mistakes. Where the unexpected is not accepted and coincidence is looked upon with distrust.

They tend to prefer very structured contexts, rigged by rules, and in which each person has a set role (the role of a good father, a good wife, the obedient son, the faithful friends…)

People who obsess over the predictable fear coincidence and the unforeseen. But it’s those moments of unpredictability that life tends to test us so we come into contact with ourselves. To challenge us and know ourselves better.

Life is full of wonderful moments of coincidence

Life is full of fragments of exciting instants, but also of slices plagued with sadness. Nevertheless, it is all part of a life worth living. They are all moments that will take your breath away in order to define you just as you are now.

Don’t despise a single moment from your past, don’t throw it away. Recycle it so it becomes another part of you, that perfect puzzle filled with contrasts, in which every piece allows you to live again and open yourself up to every coincidence that destiny wishes to offer you.

They say that life is an organized chaos that we all think we understand. When in reality, we pounce through it like children that more than anything want to experiment and not come out too wounded from the experience.

happy girl on bike

Now, how can we benefit from the unexpected and coincidence on our day to day? In fact, many people tend to complain “nothing ever happens to me”, “exciting things only happen to everyone else”.

Reflect for a while on these ideas:

  • If in your day to day you’re one of those people that thinks it’s better to not wish for happiness because sometimes what arrives might be even worse than what you already have, you’re completely vetoing the magic of coincidence.
  • Our beliefs give our thoughts shape and our thoughts give our behaviors shape. And our behavior shapes our current reality. What if we turn on the spark and change some of our thoughts?
  • The simple act of believing you deserve something better is already making a switch towards change.
  • If you leave your limiting thoughts and your negative and defeatists attitudes behind, your mind will be open to any stimulus.

Coincidence is hiding in every corner, in thousands of moments, in hundreds of gazes, one of which could unexpectedly stumble upon yours. Why not?

Don’t resist your circumstances, and observe life from the window of learning without valuing things as either really good or really bad. It’s all life lived. They are all moments that have subtle lessons.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.