Life Doesn’t Take People From You, It Distances You From Those You Don’t Need
When it is a matter of saving our own self-love and our dignity, we have to be clear on something: we cannot allow for discounts. This is why we say that life doesn’t take people from you, it distances you from those you don’t need.
Emotional bonds are valuable and as such, it is of great importance for us to push aside the bad, heartless people who time and time again deplete our self-esteem. At the very moment that you realize this, a new world will open itself before your eyes and you will stop needing the presence of those who sowed nothing but doubts, discomfort, and demotivation in you.
Give your absence to those who hurt you with their presence
Move away from those who doubt you, get closer to those who value you, free yourself from those who place obstacles in your path, and love those who support you. Give your absence to those who do not value your presence and show yourself what you are worth.
You are the one who sets your own value, and as such, it is that value that self-interested people will give you, the ones who cannot see past their selfishness and their own needs. That is why it is important for us to stay close to those who comfort us and to stay far from those who deliberately harm us. So:
- Move away from anyone who does you harm, who makes your life dark; move away from anyone who becomes something sinister in your life.
- Move away from anything that cannot be solved, from anything that is undermining your well being.
- Impose emotional distance on pain, rejection, and betrayal; watch them and learn.
- Manage your fears, control your demons.
- Be aware that suffering is optional.
- Do not cover up or anesthetize the reality of negative emotional bonds out of a fear of losing them.
- Remember that the rules of the game of life are the ones you decide on.
Pain that leaves a mark
When we are broken to pieces trying to keep others whole, we break down our ability to react. In other words, we weaken the emotional determination that makes up our essence. This disconnect from ourselves has harmful consequences for our emotional health, for we isolate ourselves from reality and undermine our own desires.
However, it is worth appreciating something important. We can all be toxic people at some point in our lives and in some kind of relationship. However, it is much easier to see the speck of dust in another’s eye than the board in our own.
Bad relationships tend to stand on these kinds of pillars:
- Assuming the role of a victim.
- The demanding and jealous tyranny of one who believes that he is defending his own dignity when he is really just undermining that of others.
- Jealous attitudes.
- Disproportionate attention.
- Domination and aggressiveness.
Self-toxicity, the emotional imbalance within us
The silent deterioration that is produced when we try to convince ourselves that everything is fine or that something can be fixed is an absolute guarantee of self-toxicity. So we become toxic towards ourselves when:
- We assume a submissive role towards the demands of others.
- We lose our essence by not caring for our own desires and succumbing to the petitions of others.
- We become chronic victims.
- We undervalue our own thoughts and emotions, not to mention our achievements.
- We maintain a harmful inner dialogue with ourselves and stop talking to others.
- We do not value ourselves.
- We put an end to introspection.
As they say, it is essential for us to do some work at home before we try to fix the world. We cannot solve anything without first asking ourselves what role we play in a toxic relationship.
Don’t lose hope and remember: if it is very difficult to protect ourselves from the hypocrisy and betrayal of those we consider friends, we must always keep in mind that although not all the glitters is gold, we can still trust the world.