When I Let My Ego Lose, I Gained Everything Else
Our ego is a product of poor emotional education, that has been focused around one idea: success means showing others an image of yourself without defects, fears or doubts. It is practically an obligation to outshine your peers. We must do this even if this means overshadowing what we really feel, what we really desire. Thus, we often confuse self-esteem with keeping our ego safe.
Your wounded ego reveals that you suffer from every mark of humiliation or defeat in the eyes of others. And this is something you do not tolerate well and which makes you feel sad and angry at the same time. We are taught to win, but in order to win, we have to be willing to learn. This implies feeling vulnerable, falling and getting back up countless times. Letting go of your ego in order to gain life lessons.
In that cycle, you must be prepared to not always be the best version of yourself. Accept that others will be able to see in you the things that you are always trying to hide. If you want to move from where you are, you have to accept the risk of losing your vanity in many circumstances. Many people consume themselves by not accepting risks that can put them on “thin ice” or on “a tight rope”. They let their egos win and lose everything else.
The struggle for our ego robs us of our tranquility
An existential void may be consuming you, but you prefer to keep pretending instead of appearing vulnerable. Due to luck or misfortune, you don’t suffer from any specific illness. You simply have a common trait that unfortunately affects a great number of people: vanity, ego, devoid of “me”.
“Every autobiography has two main characters, a Don Quijote, the ego, and a Sancho Panza, the “me”.”
-W. H. Auden-
The struggle to maintain our ego safe is a relentless struggle of our ego against the world, in which we implicitly already have a guaranteed defeat. One day we may notice that not accepting a weakness has actually boosted said trait. It has made us lose some people we loved and who loved us along the way.