Less Complaining, More Living

September 14, 2015

If your problem can be solved, why are you complaining? If it can’t, why are you complaining?

(Eastern proverb)

In the face of hard times, it can be healthy to vent to a close trusted friend or family member. Nevertheless, at times it seems that complaining is our favorite hobby.

We complain when it’s cold, but also when it’s hot, complain about this and about that, to the point that our complaining becomes a habit by which we define ourselves, like a personal signature stamped into our existence that will accompany us for the rest of our days.

Complaining will always be easy; the hard part is assuming responsibilities for our complaints. That is to say, if the problem has a solution, we should simply do what needs to be done. If it doesn’t, we should let it go, as the Eastern proverb says. There’s no point in tiring ourselves with something that’s out of our control.

When we live our lives with a light load, only carrying the indispensable, believe it or not, it’s much easier to be happy and, as a result, we positively impact the people around us.

By complaining, we make ourselves the victims, and the more we self-victimize, the more we act the part. As a result, we get stuck on problems and don’t find solutions, preventing us from discovering and developing our full potential.

Man complaining

Why are we complaining?

Usually, we complain because we are suffering and think there’s no solution to our problems. For example, we’re not satisfied by the way we look, we don’t have the job or car we’ve always wanted, or the money and resources we think we so desperately need, etc.

But if we really want to change this repetitive unhealthy situation, the first thing we should do is stop thinking so much and start doing more instead. Deep down, a lot of the things we would like to have won’t satisfy the need that’s really troubling us. 

You might ask yourself, “What do I really need?” Think about how many things you acquired over the past year that you thought were indispensable, only to later realize you didn’t really need them. Maybe they simply turned into decorations or ended up gathering dust in some corner of your house. So when you ask yourself this question, be sure to really think about the answer.

What do I need? What good is complaining? Ask yourself and think about it.

Start now!

Maybe what you want isn’t a thing, but rather the feeling that’s associated with it. Most of the time, that feeling is wellbeing.

It may also be that what you crave truly is hard to obtain, but don’t be discouraged. It’s not impossible. You just have to divide the goal into various steps and take one at a time until you reach the finish line. 

For example, it frustrates you to not be able to travel around the country, but maybe you could visit a few new cities for now. This is something you could accomplish.

By approaching it this way, you’re at least starting to solve the problem that’s the subject of your complaining, and focusing your energy into something productive that will make you feel much better, instead of just complaining.

Stop blaming yourself and give yourself a chance. Start now – try it out for two weeks. You’ll be surprised by the results. Nobody’s saying it will be easy, but it’ll be good for you. So get to work!