I Know Who I Am and I Have Nothing to Prove

· August 21, 2017

When we know clearly who we are, we do not need the good opinion of other people. Because, there are very few feelings as liberating as living without the need to prove anything, feeling real, masters of our own decisions, and designers of the maps where dignity and wisdom are found, free and colorful.

It is not easy, getting to this point in our life-cycle, where self-expression and emotional brightness carry us to discover our true self, without prejudice, and without the anguish of being judged or rejected. Supposedly, it releases an internal revolution that not everyone is prepared for. The reason for this is found in our mental structure, which is always focused on the opinion of others instead of self-acceptance.

“This is how I am and this how I’m happy.”

We live in a society that is geared towards showing off. The world is like a theatrical spectacle where someone sets the standards of what is expected and what is right, and the rest of us quickly begin to dance to the tune of those standards. Day after day, and without us even noticing, we turn into supporting actors of made-up stories: those that have nothing to do with our identity, with our values or principles.

We can’t forget that the image we have of ourselves is not transferred to us culturally nor is it inherited through our genes: it is built. Just as each of us draws up an internal representation of the world around us, we also build theories and concepts about ourselves. These schematics can cause us to hate ourselves or, on the other hand, to love ourselves fully.

Let us opt for the second. Let’s turn ourselves into the leading actors of our own marvelous stories. 

Stop trying to prove something and start living

Each one of us has been taught to read, walk, and eat healthy. When we get sick, we go to a doctor and they give us a prescription to cure our illness. However, rarely are we taught how to care for ourselves psychologically, or even worse, to love ourselves. 


Many people go to see a psychologist with the bleak conviction that they are not made to be happy. Under the expressions of, “everything turns out wrong for me,” “everyone leaves me,” or “every relationship I start goes to the waste bin,” is an underlying reason, an internal tattoo that could can be summarized in the following way: “I have forgotten to love myself.”

On the other hand, it is interesting that, when the time comes to define ourselves or to explain our relationships, it becomes instantly clear that we are focused more on others. That we are people full of affection who understand life through care and dedication to others. Thinking that the simple act of offering love and showing unselfish love will bring the same gift in return, the same coin, the same load of energy.

There are many people who go to see a psychologist with the same bleak outlook that they are not made to be happy. 

Right in the middle of this dynamic, between what we give and what we want to receive in exchange, a person forgets something very simple: to live. Our existence is not based on the idea that the affection I give, I will also get in return. In the middle of that unhealthy attachment to others is our true self, the one that is waiting to be appreciated, freed, and recognized for who we are.

We cannot forget that immunity to the scourge of sadness and hopelessness is achieved only by learning to love ourselves. Only then will we celebrate ‘us’ without any fear or reservations. 

Start to cleanse the attic of you mind

To know who we are, what we are worth, and start to truly live, there is nothing better than to clean the attic of our mind. Why? Although it may be hard to believe, there are many useless things in that privileged space, “old furniture” that others have given us, and there is a lot of old dust that it is necessary to get rid of by opening new windows.

“One day you will hit rock bottom, reach your limit, and that is when your personal revolution begins.”
-Walter Riso

Next, we will explain how to accomplish this. We are sure that these strategies will be useful for your personal growth.

Keys to remembering who you truly are

Our cleaning should begin with something very simple: with everything we have not put there. What we have not chosen. Most of those things got there during our childhood, when our brain had not yet developed the proper filters needed to judge and value what was transmitted to us.

  • Reflect on the values or mandates our parents ingrained in us, and that somehow, do not harmonize with what you feel, what you need or what you consider is important.
  • The second step in our internal cleaning is, sweep the dark corners and dust those negative schematics away that we have built upon us. Generally, they come in the form of phrases: “I am not capable of…,” “at this stage in my life it is not worth it to…,” “I am not made for this or that…”
  • Further, it is time to “mop up” those intruders that are inhabiting the attic of our mind. They tend to be camouflaged and take the form of fear, indecision, prejudices, and the constant need to be accepted. Identify them and tell them kindly to get out the same way they came in.

Lastly, in this cleaning process, the time will come when basic and essential furniture needs to be brought in, which will make our mental attic a peaceful and beautiful place, that is also unique and healthy. We are talking about the sofa of self-esteem, the table of good self-concept, chairs where our values sit, and the rug full of intense colors that makes up our dignity, and that no one can step on.

Let’s start building the life we want, be proud of who we are, happy to possess a strong mind and a personality that dares to be the protagonist of your own story.