I'm Going to Fly High Even if You Clip My Wings
Sometimes, people feel like they want to develop other talents or spend their time doing different activities. However, when they say “I’m going to fly high” or “I need a change” they may discover that the people around them don’t support them in this.
This may happen to couples, although there are many cases in which this also happens in family settings. Every personal development and change process has its own difficulties. The one we’re going to be talking about in this article is one of the most common ones.
Life isn’t static. Things change, people evolve, and they don’t always go the same direction or at the same pace. This is why it’s so important to understand why those close to us may not always be supportive of those changes we decide to make for our own personal development. In fact, they can become a great obstacle we must overcome.
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
-Oscar Wilde-
Why does this happen?
First off, we must bear in mind that any change or personal development process doesn’t only affect those who go through them unless they live alone or isolated. In many cases, we’re a significant part of another person’s world. Thus, our actions and decisions may affect them as well.
When we decide to fly high, we can also be influencing the lives of those around us. This may make them think they need to make adjustments in their own lives, adjustments that they may be reluctant to make.
Change is scary. However, when the change is necessary, the desire to improve becomes greater and we no longer fear leaving our comfort zone. It’s okay to anticipate what those who go against our decisions may feel. Thus, every improvement and personal development process makes a natural selection of the relationships that we have with others.
These moments can help you realize what motivates others to be around you. However, it’s important to be careful with interpretations since they still come from our own assumptions that we make from partial information.
The situations that may cause those “I’m going to fly high” moments are quite diverse, as are the resistances we may encounter within ourselves. For example, going to the gym 5 minutes earlier than what you’re used to and annoying the person who has to open it or making our significant other uncomfortable because we’re going to class late at night and they’re the ones who have to make dinner every day now.
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
-Socrates-
The process of change
Change is a complex process where we encounter personal obstacles. There are several elements that come into play when someone decides to change an aspect of their life. Self-knowledge is a vital part of this since it allows us to analyze our strengths and weaknesses through moments of self-reflection.
In addition, the change and personal development processes may also arise during serious crises that make the person want to find a better purpose in life. When a person decides to fly high, they most likely know they’re on the road to facing their own limiting beliefs. This basically forces them to confront their fears. Also, this puts those around them in a situation of uncertainty because they don’t know how much said changes will affect them personally.
I’m going to fly high despite our fears
In these cases, we may also project other people’s fears in ourselves. For example, your partner might get worried about you being out and about late at night. Their fear involves you and your safety. Another example would be the uncertainty parents feel when their child tells them they want to change careers. On the other hand, some people mistakenly believe that because they’re unable to change certain aspects of their life, others can’t either.
If you’re longing for a change or if you think there’s something in your life that can be improved, focus on it. Those close to you may or may not support your decision, which is one of the biggest obstacles. However, if those people are meant to be in your new life, then so be it. If not, they won’t be part of the change.
