How to Have a Happy Marriage - Five Strong Marriage Secrets

Do you feel a disconnection in your marriage? No marriage is perfect. But couples who've been together for long figured out the secret to a happy marriage. Discover how to have a healthy relationship with this expert advice.
How to Have a Happy Marriage - Five Strong Marriage Secrets

Last update: 18 May, 2021

Do you want to have a healthy, happy marriage? If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage, but want to avoid separation or divorce, we can help. This post is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. We pulled together pieces of advice from healthy, strong relationships that are worth remembering.

Firstly, no marriage is perfect. Yet, couples who have been together for years, truly have a thing or two figured out. They discovered the secret to a happy marriage. Whether you’re engaged or been married for one year or a decade, honesty and empathy go a long way. Every couple is utterly different. 

Therefore, what works for your parents or your best friend may be the opposite of what helps you and your significant other. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from all the lovebirds. As each long-term marriage has its own secret to success, hearing tips from others may inspire you to find your own. Here’s some great advice for a strong, enduring relationship. 

Marriage isn’t always a piece of cake. A lot of work goes into living “happily ever after”. Whether you’ve been married for years or just tied the knot, we asked the experts what couples can do to have a happy marriage. Follow their helpful tips for a stronger, healthier, and, yes, more blissful bond.

Keep in mind that these five secrets won’t be easy to apply. In fact, your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up. However, if you maintain your efforts, you’ll likely reap what you sow, having a happy marriage.

1. Communication and honesty are essential

Lack of communication is the number one reason even happy marriages fail. Here’s a useful format for doing so, especially when dealing with incendiary topics. Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting them. Just listen. When they’re finished, summarize what you heard them say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even though you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.

Be honest. You may share with your partner the things they don’t want to hear. Better this than to have them doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship. The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural and every day as breathing.

Likewise, respect your partner and don’t take them for granted. Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. Regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it. Besides, don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation to your partner, as they’ll surely be thankful that you did.

The first duty of love is to listen.”

-Paul Tillich-

2. Spend quality time both as a couple and with yourself

It might be easy to slip into a mundane routine, especially if you and your significant other live together. However, you don’t have to drastically change your life to have a happy marriage. For example, you don’t have to go on expensive dates or adrenaline-fueled adventures to make a big difference in your relationships. Put aside one day a week for a “date night”, aiming to do something totally different together every week. 

Likewise, you may eat and cook together or try out a new hobby. It’s vital to often spend quality time with yourself. Don’t expect your partner to complete you. Reality check: Jerry Maguire is a movie character. When he said: “You complete me”, it sure was romantic. Nevertheless, it doesn’t fly in the real world. In fact, a good relationship should be balanced. 

Don’t give all your energy away or give up on the hobbies and things you love doing. Of course, relationships inevitably involve compromises. But make sure your own happiness is never suffering as a result. This way, you’ll also give each other that much-needed space. Though it’s great spending quality time together, don’t forget you both need to nurture your interests.

For instance, perhaps you can spend time with your beloved friends. Couples who spend every moment in each other’s pockets can easily begin to feel unfulfilled when they realize that their personal interests have started to slip. Therefore, let each other spend time on the things you enjoy separately. When you reconvene as a couple, you’ll be pleased to see each other and have a lot to talk about. 

3. Come up with a realistic view of the committed marriage

How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? The most important rule is coming up with a realistic view of the committed relationship. This single, yet pivotal strategy will avoid numerous arguments. Besides, happy marriages aren’t a result of luck or chance. On the other hand, they’re a result of both hard work and commitment. 

Therefore, you must develop a realistic view of your own marriage. Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. Above all, a long-term relationship has ups and downs. Thus, expecting it’ll be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.

Work on your marriage. Unfortunately, an untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the hardiest plants. The same goes for relationships. It’s imperative to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. However, you must regularly work and tend to a happy marriage, like anything you want to succeed in life. 

If you neglect the relationship, it’ll go downhill. Spend time together. There’s no substitute for shared quality time. Likewise, when you make a point of being together, without kids, pets, and other interruptions, you’ll form a bond that’ll get you through life’s rough spots. For instance, spending time together should be doing something fun, not watching TV.

4. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself

First of all, even happy couples argue. Sadly, no marriage is happy all of the time. Like all relationships, marriages have ups and downs. But when they do fight, happy couples listen to each other’s point of view, making changes. Don’t worry about whether your relationship is as good as it “should be”. Often, we worry about having the best clothes or the latest gadgets. 

Likewise, we worry about having marriages that are as exciting and passionate. In other words, we want them to be as passionate as the ones we see in famous movies or hear about in love songs. But marriages aren’t about constantly feeling butterflies, we all have our own unique ways of experiencing them and you’ll know what’s right for you. 

Therefore, enjoy your marriage for what it truly is. Most importantly, be utterly grateful that it’s there. Avoid jealousy and build trust. Jealousy can destroy happy marriages. Above all, nothing is less attractive than the green-eyed monster. Are you worried that your partner isn’t giving you enough attention? First, consider the incredibly open, honest approach. 

For instance, it would be awful to accuse them of looking elsewhere. Building mutual trust is the key to banishing unhealthy emotions and remaining strong together. Work on your marriage. It isn’t always the most popular way of thinking about them but relationships need work. Truthfully, you need to nurture your partner, while giving them the space and attention they deserve. 

Communication isn’t something to do only occasionally, it should be constantly. It’s only by not taking your relationship for granted that your connection will stay strong. But, the rewards, as anyone in a happy relationship, knows, are more than worth the effort.

5. Appreciate the little things

When you’ve been together for quite a while, it might seem easy to take your partner for granted. So, appreciate the small things. For example, send cute texts. You may also say “thank you” more or tell them you love them. Let your partner know how much they mean to you. Therefore, they never feel taken for granted. This is one of the most important tips for a strong relationship.

Understand how you both express your love. For instance, some people express their love for others through hugs and physical affection. Other people might show their love through action and small gestures. Likewise, others might surprise their significant half with event tickets, meals, and other romantic gestures. Find out how your partner likes to express their love. 

For example, don’t take it personally if they don’t hug you all the time or surprise you with adventurous dates. Alternatively, if you’re aware of how your partner likes to receive love, you can adapt accordingly. Show your love in a way the other person would like to receive it.

Learn to forgive. Don’t let resentment build up over the years. Holding grudges will only backfire on you and hurt your relationship in the long run. Forgiveness is key to any strong relationship. If there are things that are still playing on your mind, talk them through with your partner. Work on yourself to find it in your heart to forgive.

The bottom line

Who doesn’t want to learn a few inspirational love secrets for a happy marriage? These tips featured above will surely help you find great love or hang on to the love you’ve got. Whether you’re new to the dating scene or long-married, it can be helpful to read some love tips from those who are in successful loving relationships.

These handy tips will definitely help you with your love life. While there’s no specific recipe for a successful relationship, some simple advice can guide you through it better. Most importantly, with these tried and true love tips you, too, can have a strong relationship. You’ll also become part of that select group of joyful people.

On the other hand, though it’s okay to do everything you can to have a happy marriage, don’t expect your partner to complete you. You should feel amazing just as you are. If you look for qualities in your partner you think you lack, it’ll put a strain on the relationship. Sometimes, we can expect way too much from our partners.

In other words, it’s wonderful to feel happy with your partner. However, you shouldn’t depend on someone else to make you happy. Happiness is something that should come from inside you. Yes, a relationship might enhance your life, but it should never complete you. That’s the bottom line.

“The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person.”

-Julia Child-

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  • Riso, W. (2019). Amar o depender. Editorial Zenith.