The Secrets of Eye Contact

April 12, 2018

Eye contact is a powerful means of communication. Through our eyes, we send conscious and unconscious messages that exert great influence in all kinds of encounters. They are part of the nonverbal communication that makes up mutual perception. Looks are a world we should take the time to decipher to learn the secrets of eye contact.

Visual contact and its interpretation are strongly associated with the part of the brain called the amygdala. This structure is related to emotions. One of the fascinating things about the secrets of eye contact is that it is a subtle and forceful language at the same time.

We are not always aware of what our gaze is saying and, sometimes, we do not even consider the message we are transmitting and what effects it has on our communication with others. The purpose of this article is precisely to clarify some interesting points of the wonderful world of the gaze.

“He who doesn’t understand a look will not understand a long explanation.”

Arabic Proverb

The duration of eye contact, a key factor

The duration of eye contact is one of the essential elements in visual communication. For example, a person who completely avoids the gaze of another is quite emotionally disturbed.

The total absence of eye contact indicates a lack of control over feelings. It can cause others to feel discomfort and distrust.

At the other extreme is the person who fixes their gaze on you and does not deviate it. This type of visual contact shows a desire to control and perhaps dominate the other person. After a few minutes, this kind of look can be truly intimidating. It is one of the strong secrets of eye contact.

the secrets of eye contact

Reading the eyes

All eyes convey some feeling, even when they are not very expressive. The latter reflects the aridity of the experience or a feeling of apathy.

However, it is not always easy to observe a look. The other person may feel strange because of our scrutiny. By doing this we discover the traces of another emotional world.

woman's face

Body language scholars have managed to identify several of the codes encrypted in the secrets of eye contact. These are some of the most common interpretations:

  • Noticeably excessive blinking shows insecurity and nervousness. People do not believe in leaders who blink too much.
  • Looking to the left indicates you are remembering something, looking to the right indicates you are generating a new thought or idea. Someone who constantly looks away and to the right may be lying. With left-handed people, this works the other way around.
  • When someone squints they do not believe what their interlocutor is saying.
  • If there is interest in maintaining good communication with the other, it is usual to raise the eyebrows during conversation.

Seduction and instinct – more secrets of eye contact

Glances also play an important role during seduction. They are usually the beginning of what later becomes a loving bond. Even if the contact is by telephone, the eyes of the people involved reflect a certain love interest. For example, it is usual that the eyes shine more and glow and the pupils are more dilated.

man and woman with eye contact

According to experts in body language, interest in another person is measured as follows:

  • If a person looks you in the eye, looks down, and then looks at you again, they are probably interested in you.
  • When a person looks at you, then breaks the contact and looks to the side, they are probably not sure if they are attracted to you or not.
  • If they make eye contact and then look up, they are most likely not attracted to you.
  • When you blink more than 10 times a minute, it is because you are attracted to the person in front of you.

On the other hand, animals are also sensitive to the gaze of humans. If they are hungry, they interpret a stare as a challenge. Looking away is a way to reduce the possibility of attack.

As we can see, looks are a world of infinite possibilities. The are a way to communicate that says a lot about us and are worth taking into account in our next conversation.

  • OConnor, J., & Lages, A. (2005). Coaching con PNL. Urano: Barcelona.
  • Poyatos, F. (1994). La comunicación no verbal (Vol. 13). Ediciones AKAL.
  • Satir, V. (2008). En contacto íntimo. Editorial Pax México.